anger

 

a word created to be bold

in ALL capital letters

however

anger does not create big things

it destroys small things

it destroys beauty

it destroys kindness

it destroys the vulnerable

and yet

i am angry

so angry

angry at the adults that have chosen for me

angry at the children for not fighting back

angry at the males for degrading us

angry at the females for never sticking together

 

anger will be the thing that destroys me

it will burn my heart out

and turn my soul to bitter rock

anger will eat away my insides

leaving nothing left

nothing

nothing to give to others

nothing to take for me

nothing

and yet

i am angry

so angry

angry at the rest of the world for misjudging us

angry at the United States for proving them right

angry at my parents for controlling me

angry at myself for following along

 

i have tried to let the anger go

my god how i tried

i have counted to fifteen

13

14

15

…

no

still angry

i have tried to talk about it

…

(why doesn’t anyone listen?)

…

no

even angrier

so now i keep it to myself

i bottle it up

and i

and i

i

i let it

let the anger burn my heart out

let the anger turn my soul to bitter rock

let the anger eat away my insides

let the anger destroy me

i will drink the poison

cause it never was about the other person dying