Am I Lonely Or lEarNiNg To be AloNE

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I always want things that are impossible to have 

I always give so much to people, expecting nothing to have

I always put everyone before me even if I shouldn’t be

Is it too late now  to say that I need to put myself first before you 

no one tends to listen when I say the things I desire 

But I always tend to listen when they say what they desire 

I learned that Im always going to be alone on this rough road 

Through pain, through suffering, through sadness, through though Times

Im always going to be by myself left alone to figure it out for myself  

You. See. How its always been me  beeing by myself 

So what makes me waste all my strength on others instead of myself  

Well I always see people how I imagine them to be

I create an image in my head which then becomes a dream 

I ask god, god why do you always take them away from me

Just when i open my heart for them to be my forever 

Just when I ask. You to keep them in my life forever 

I wait for him to reply while he keeps showing me the signs 

But since I’m day dreaming I cant see the signs

I keep complaining to god while he keeps showing me the signs 

When I finally see why I asked but why 

Why do i  always have to learn why can’t the lessons be finally done 

Then I hear a sound that says maybe its not the time yet to stop learning now 

You still have to learn from this life 

Because this life is huge for a little girl like you 

For a little  girl who’s heart is as pure as gold 

For a little girl who has struggled through the pain alone 

For a little girl who has come so far 

To be given away to a boy who has not yet learned to become a man

This little girl will always be my little girl but yet so wise that she’s grown 

This little girl needs to learn that   

The only time people come around is when she lets go

When she finally learns this then  I’m gonna stop teaching 

But until then I’m gonna teach this little girl 

How to be a women in this strange world 

In a world where it takes time for a boy to become a man 

In a world where shes going to be taken advantage of even is she thinks shes not 

In a world where everyone disappears after they get what they want 

In a world where she needs to learn the only true love is self love 

In a world where its hard to find someone who loves you more than you 

But see your not ready yet because your still looking for the one who can show you love 

I want this little girl to be so in love with hearself that she stops dreaming about the one 

I want this little girl to be a dream for everyone, a dream that no one wants to wake up from

I want this little girl to be found by a man who is just as strong as her 

I want this little girl to be happy for infinity 

That’s when I will stop bringing people in her life to be her lesson 

Until then this little girl needs to be left alone 

To figure it out by herself Just like how she does it all the time 

just know that I’m here with you all the time 

Life won’t be like this forever and your hdppieness is not  limited 

When your happy back on your ground they always come back

But thats only because their bored or realized who you were 

But its too late now because I’ve teached this little girl A lesson that she will not forget 

This lesson made her spend many hours alone by herself 

This lesson made her write this poem by herself 

This lesson made her realize that her body only belongs to herself 

Then this boy realizes its time to be a man

Not for this little girl though Because she already found her man 

Now this little girl has transformed into a women 

A women who’s been through it all but has never tried to give up 

Darling do you see why i had to give you all those lessons 

Or are you still questioning why

 

This poem is about: 
Me
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