I realize now it was probably a bad decision.

There was no plan.

We were just living in the moment.

Making discoveries.

Exploring new terrain, well new to us.

The first time we winged it, without meaning to

And nothing happened,

But we got big heads and thought

“well since nothing happened the first time…”

But we were dumb… threw caution to the wind

We were caught up in the fun, then it happened.

Our worst nightmare,

you slipped up, but you didn't tell me

I realized later that night that something was off,

Something didn't feel right…

Then you told me about your grave mistake

I was numb, calm? upset.

I couldn't hate you though. Lord knows I wanted to

But, for some strange reason I couldn't forget about the times when you had to deal with my flaws, or errors

It just, this- this is so much bigger than us and you we're going to do it alone

We had to get together and buy time enough for our backup plan

An actual method this time.

There were just so many last minutes and miscommunications

You placed the responsibility all in my hands

Ya know I thought for a second “what if…” that's when I realized that I had to otherwise my life would be ruined

It kinda sounds bad but that's how life works

One time & it was killed

Deceased

Life returns only more careful… less cumbersome

I'm changed and I can't truly trust you every again, so

Let's find some protection to avoid having to choose plan B