I began as a little piece of algae, and after my lifespan,

I died. 

I didn't know much of anything as a piece of algae and after I died, there was no party to celebrate my life as algae.

But after I was past that stage, I became a seed.

And that seed blossomed into a sunflower and when I died as a sunflower, maybe some further self-actualized being mourned my death.

A child passing me was sad about my death for a moment before she picks a more appealing flower to take home. 

And then I was a bluejay.

That is, I was a bluejay until the morning when I flew into the window of a farmhouse in northwestern Indiana.

And for this death I was given a funeral, by two fourth or fifth graders and I was buried in the backyard of the farmhouse.

And as I died in Indiana, I was born again in Indiana.

I was born to a mother who was incapable of loving me because of her depression and her lack of love for herself, who left three years after I was born, who remarried to a man named Buck

I was born to a father who had too much on his plate, who had too many mouths that he was responsible for, who had too many Christmas presents to buy.

And I was born with three brothers and  sister. They called me sissy because my sister never felt like a woman, making me the only girl in my broken family.

As of today, I've lived more or less 17 and a half years and my brothers have all moved out and away so I live with my dad and my boyfriend because his parents kicked him out.

And I'm curious about death, because I can't think of what I'll be next.

Maybe I'll be a God. Maybe that's the next step. I can imagine death as a room where all I do is play an intense game of Sims and I can imagine God, sitting in a room,

Playing Sims. 


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