Romans 7:22-25 22 For I delight in the law of God in my inner being. 23 But I see a different law in my members waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that is in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh, I serve the law of sin.  Ailing

I covered it well … that crummy deed

when I took what was not mine.

I sought repentance with bitter tears.

But did it come … would things be fine?

 

Week after week … I cried self to sleep

until I grew weary and looked like "hell".

But I was forgiven and cleansed to my feet?

A desire of God’s Grace … as you can tell.

 

For all these years I appeared to folks

a shining knight in God's dented armor.

I'm even ordained … and that is so

but what is inside … a wretched charmer?

 

I’m so at peace when  I drink of  Christ's fountain

but now at times, I’m too sure any more.

My past opens up … like a roaring mountain.

Why do I pass through memory’s door?

 

I'm becoming … what I don't want to be

I never saw self … as clearly as now.

Outside not bad … but inside debree

that smells like death … "A Golden Cow?"

 

I'm rebellious … beyond my dreams

based on a life … with thoughts of sin.

My mind is always … full of schemes.

My "heart" long gone … emptiness within.

 

It should have been different by design

The Bible speaks of: “God molds and makes”

but in my case … "Oh, how benign!"

I mold myself into … "What it takes".

 

How long has it been that I choose this path

Thirty-five years … or maybe more?

By now I'm filled … with what's called "chaff"

surely my flesh is rotten to the core.

 

I look for Christ … in my helpless estate

He healed the lepers … we all know.

But only one cleansing for these renegades

was all it took … to make them whole.

 

Was I cleansed fifty-some years ago

when I was drawn to the Altar then?

Why did I give in to the flesh years ago

to that miry-pit called … “satan’s den"

 

Jan Wienen.