Pamphlets litter my floor

The desk

The chair

My pillow

I have to figure this out

I have no driver's license

No car to drive

No job to get to

No money coming in

Yet I'm to plan my future

University of Berkley

Harvard University

Howard University

University of Chicago

Girls smile on their glossed covers

Boys toss the football as they invite me to join

But what if I don't fit in

What if I don't make it

What if I fail?

My school pushes me to figure it out

Paint my entire live in three to six months

My ultra sophisticated major

My stunning alma mater

My lifelong occupation

My enormous house

My successful husband

My picture perfect future

The live my children will brag about

What happens when my life falls short?

When I don't get accepted into Harvard?

When Howard says my test scores are too low?

When I have to work at McDonalds to make ends meet?

When I'm forty with a broken down car living in my mom's basement?

When I have two kids that are in my predicament?

Confused and scared

What will I tell them?

My mother breaks the tension easily

Worried since I've neither eaten nor slept

Twenty years ago she was me

Sitting among a pile on confusion

Trying to predict her fate blindly

She smiled at me though I'm clearly stressed

Takes my hand and kisses my forehead

"How's it going?"

"It's hard Mommy. Very very hard."

Soft kisses warm my insides

"Take it slow and remember to breathe."