Pamphlets litter my floor
I have to figure this out
I have no driver's license
No car to drive
No job to get to
No money coming in
Yet I'm to plan my future
University of Berkley
University of Chicago
Girls smile on their glossed covers
Boys toss the football as they invite me to join
But what if I don't fit in
What if I don't make it
What if I fail?
My school pushes me to figure it out
Paint my entire live in three to six months
My ultra sophisticated major
My stunning alma mater
My lifelong occupation
My enormous house
My successful husband
My picture perfect future
The live my children will brag about
What happens when my life falls short?
When I don't get accepted into Harvard?
When Howard says my test scores are too low?
When I have to work at McDonalds to make ends meet?
When I'm forty with a broken down car living in my mom's basement?
When I have two kids that are in my predicament?
Confused and scared
What will I tell them?
My mother breaks the tension easily
Worried since I've neither eaten nor slept
Twenty years ago she was me
Sitting among a pile on confusion
Trying to predict her fate blindly
She smiled at me though I'm clearly stressed
Takes my hand and kisses my forehead
"How's it going?"
"It's hard Mommy. Very very hard."
Soft kisses warm my insides
"Take it slow and remember to breathe."