Everything just keeps going, but no one is aware of the heartbreak that has been set before me. At the hands of a paperback book all of my emotional stability has crumbled to dust. You read, you set aside time to dedicate your mind to page after page of written word. Written by a stranger in some far off place on that broken typewriter you seem to idolize and fear.
Written by strangers who understand you more emotionally than you may even know yourself. Because you read their truths, you read their pains, you read their joys and they reflect your own...or your lack of truths, your lack of pains, and your lack of joys. They infuriate you, they bolster your hope, they leave you broken, but you keep reading. Weight the of pages shifts from right to left. You notate. Your ink fills up the pages with words and phrases that resonate.
Resonate with what?
This experience will cause what?
Reading in the corner may not be the best solution to your problems. It won't help you lose the weight, it won't help you communicate with the physical people in your life. You may understand the characters, and feel like they understand you, but they aren't real. And yet with each book you add to the shelf, each novel you cross off that list, you know you're a better a person. You spent your time weaving through words, slipping through punctuation, bounding down paragraphs, and know that you're better off. You're doing better than that fellow graduate who wastes their time getting wasted. Finding their truths in the bottom of some glass or at the end of some joint. You don't throw money at bottles, bongs, grass, but you throw it at the trees. Those trees which bind and hold that precious ink that holds those precious letters, that make those glorious words, that make those sentences and stories that will forever break your heart and remind you that people in far off places sit at their dining room tables writing because they too… feel.
You're addicting, Words. I hold you in my hands and you cause send me on more of an emotional journey than any other substance I know.