I cant live with my profound instability 

I cant be the poison and the remedy

I can inform, enlighten, give an idea;

cant explain how my reality's so severe

Not willing to accept that I am actually an addict

That my day to day life is controlled by a habit

Over indulgence in substance abuse

Determined by no reasonable excuse

Taunted by inner demons I have created

Suffer of Psychotic schizophrenia; drug related

Will power ceases to exist never to reappear

Self control lost with the inability to commandeer

Sobriety brings lack of interest, days mundane

From the daily abusing and use i must refrain

The need for a high overcomes any felt lows

No lesson learnt from how bad my mind goes

My own worst enemy from drug dependency

No one else to blame because of ascendancy

ever seeking that intoxicating rush and feeling

until i realise that its from addiction i need freeing.