Addict

 

I’m honestly stupid about shit

been close to incarcerated

my arm been lacerated

on morphine for the stupidest reason

And promised I wouldn’t do it ever

but only a couple years later

sitting in my room high and sedated

snorting hydrocodone and

huffin fluid they’re overrated

Watson 3202

That’s the name of the pill

got my ass so blitzt

I almost started writing my will

And when I inhaled those fumes I fell back on my bed

green red and pink balls twirling around my head

And crash at my homies house

snortin lines of adderall and ritalin

42 hours no sleep

I can’t stop, my brain is buzzing

occasionally starting up with that cutting

my blood gushing

What am I doing?

I don’t know what I’ve done with myself

I used to be a good kid, straight A’s I wouldn’t settle for lesser

but now I’m almost straight C’s

I know I can do better.

Instead I pass out drunk in my room,

Mix pain killers and whiskey and hope I die by the morning.

Then wake up start spitting verses and maybe make a recording.

Before I go to school, drink some henny and vodka.

Smoke a cig, put it out on my arm.

covered in burn scars and scabbed slits.

Punch a wall, make sure my skin splits.

My mom endured 9 months and childbirth for me

and after 16 years I’ve caused her more emotional damage than good memories.

I wanna say I’m sorry.

I say it all the time.

I wish I could stop.

I wish I could cut the crime.

I’ve tried so many times and failed all of em

start getting my life together then just drop all of it.

and let it all fall back to shit.

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741