I’m honestly stupid about shit
been close to incarcerated
my arm been lacerated
on morphine for the stupidest reason
And promised I wouldn’t do it ever
but only a couple years later
sitting in my room high and sedated
snorting hydrocodone and
huffin fluid they’re overrated
That’s the name of the pill
got my ass so blitzt
I almost started writing my will
And when I inhaled those fumes I fell back on my bed
green red and pink balls twirling around my head
And crash at my homies house
snortin lines of adderall and ritalin
42 hours no sleep
I can’t stop, my brain is buzzing
occasionally starting up with that cutting
my blood gushing
What am I doing?
I don’t know what I’ve done with myself
I used to be a good kid, straight A’s I wouldn’t settle for lesser
but now I’m almost straight C’s
I know I can do better.
Instead I pass out drunk in my room,
Mix pain killers and whiskey and hope I die by the morning.
Then wake up start spitting verses and maybe make a recording.
Before I go to school, drink some henny and vodka.
Smoke a cig, put it out on my arm.
covered in burn scars and scabbed slits.
Punch a wall, make sure my skin splits.
My mom endured 9 months and childbirth for me
and after 16 years I’ve caused her more emotional damage than good memories.
I wanna say I’m sorry.
I say it all the time.
I wish I could stop.
I wish I could cut the crime.
I’ve tried so many times and failed all of em
start getting my life together then just drop all of it.
and let it all fall back to shit.