Academics
I’ve always enjoyed reading, writing, learning
But I’ve never enjoyed having to attend school
Ever since childhood, school has made me feel…
Inadequate, unintelligent, mediocre, misplaced
I don’t pick up on things as quickly as others do
But that doesn’t mean I’m not as smart as them
Although I struggle in school, I force myself to keep up
Not for a sense of accomplishment or self-sufficiency
But because I would be considered a failure if I don’t
For instance, take math--the subject I’m worst at
Algebra, geometry, calculus--things I’ll never use,
Things I have no interest in; things I force myself to learn
Others learn them with easy, within single class periods
I, however, stay in after class, stay up late at night,
Stay in the library during lunch instead of eat just to study
Once again, not in order to feel as if I’ve achieved anything
But because school has made me terrified of being a failure
Of the thought that if I don’t earn a diploma, my life will go nowhere
Even when it comes to art class--sketching, painting, creativing
Although I generally love art, I absolutely hate it at school
Because there’s a possibility that my creativity won’t be enough
That if my art isn’t up to someone else’s standards, I’ll fail
Even a course as simple as P.E. is stressful in school
All I may be doing is moving, running, exercising, but I could still fail
At this point, the only thing I like about school is being with friends
I enjoy talking to, working with, and bonding with my peers
Because school puts them under pressure as well, they’re relatable
Academics may make me feel as if I’m constantly under a microscope,
Being watched over by teachers to see when I’ll slip up and fail,
But I know my self worth, despite whatever my grades may be
A teacher stating that I “meet the standards” doesn’t represent who I am
Likewise, a teacher stating that I have “failed” doesn’t represent who I am
I am more than an academic career