Academic validation
Once a perfectionist, always a perfectionist.
You see, for years, I was at this point where everything was an easy A.
I got all my assignments and I had the motivation to do them.
The only problem with that was that I needed the A.
Even seeing a 99% would make me bawl.
Then, the second things got hard, I gave up.
I burnt out.
I thought it was over.
I survived with my B’s and C’s.
I was mediocre, and after a couple years, I became fine with it.
It was a comfortable spot to be in.
I got the special feeling of being in honors, but I never did anything.
Deep down, I still wanted those straight A’s.
Then, the year starts again and I’m starting off strong.
Over 100% in 2 classes, 100% in the rest.
I’m back.
A break was all I needed!
I just needed a couple years to get back on track!
Oh, whoops!
I missed a point on an assignment!
That's okay, I can live with a 99%
Crack
Oh shit, I forgot to turn something in!
It's just a 91… just a 91… just a 91…
I can live with this.
It can get better.
OH FUCK!
I missed a question, now I’m at a 102%
Why am I so stupid?!
Wait, what the hell am I talking about?
Its still above 100%
I don’t need it to be 103%
102% works too I guess…
Crack
FUCKK!!!
I missed an assignment in math.
I completely spaced it.
I can’t let this happen again.
Ughh but the work is so muchh…
I’ll force myself to do it anyway.
Still stuck at a 102% in this class.
I can’t believe I have 102% in TWO classes!!
It should have been 102%...
Crack
You’re kidding.
I did not work so hard on this essay to be told its “not what I expected from you”
Am I getting bad again?
No, I can’t let myself feel like this again.
Crack
I can't let myself crumble.
Crack
I can’t let myself fall apart.
Crack
I can’t fall apart
Crack.
Crack
Crack.
Crack.
Crack.
One little “I’m proud of you” and I’m all better.
Academic validation.