Academic validation

Once a perfectionist, always a perfectionist.

You see, for years, I was at this point where everything was an easy A.

I got all my assignments and I had the motivation to do them.

The only problem with that was that I needed the A.

Even seeing a 99% would make me bawl.

Then, the second things got hard, I gave up.

I burnt out.

I thought it was over.

I survived with my B’s and C’s.

I was mediocre, and after a couple years, I became fine with it.

It was a comfortable spot to be in.

I got the special feeling of being in honors, but I never did anything.

Deep down, I still wanted those straight A’s.

Then, the year starts again and I’m starting off strong.

Over 100% in 2 classes, 100% in the rest.

I’m back.

A break was all I needed! 

I just needed a couple years to get back on track!

Oh, whoops!

I missed a point on an assignment! 

That's okay, I can live with a 99%

Crack

Oh shit, I forgot to turn something in!

It's just a 91… just a 91… just a 91…

I can live with this.

It can get better.

OH FUCK!
I missed a question, now I’m at a 102%

Why am I so stupid?!

Wait, what the hell am I talking about?

Its still above 100%

I don’t need it to be 103%

102% works too I guess…

Crack

FUCKK!!!

I missed an assignment in math. 

I completely spaced it.

I can’t let this happen again.

Ughh but the work is so muchh…

I’ll force myself to do it anyway.

Still stuck at a 102% in this class.

I can’t believe I have 102% in TWO classes!!
It should have been 102%...

Crack

You’re kidding.

I did not work so hard on this essay to be told its “not what I expected from you”

Am I getting bad again?

No, I can’t let myself feel like this again.

Crack

I can't let myself crumble.

Crack

I can’t let myself fall apart.

Crack

I can’t fall apart

Crack.

Crack

Crack.

Crack.

Crack.

One little “I’m proud of you” and I’m all better.

Academic validation.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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