abused

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Im trying not to break. But my mind has yet to conceive. Stumbling over suppressed guilt. Watching my soul bleed.
I thought it was my fault. You were blaming her for the Birth of me. She didnt mean Whatever She's done. But you couldnt hear my plea!
Instead you beat her some more while i watched in the shadows. Scars of a bruised heart. Those memories i cant let go.
I escaped through imagination but the screams brought me back. Yells of anger dispelling the house. Our happiness was under attack.
I was scarred of losing two souls who together represented me. I was afraid to love for fear that i would become them and they 'the me that i see'.
I was hell bent on not becoming the destruction they had performed. I grew up hurt, desolate, bruised and ruined.
You look at me with disgust. I see the hate in your eyes. You choose to ignore my vision painting black around my eyes. You look so familiar yet your stature is differently shaped.  Mundane. I'm expecting 'take two' of this heartbreak.
I'm not her!
I did nothing wrong! 
Born but not accepted. 
I did nothing wrong.
Born but not accepted.
Yet still for your love I long...
Lost (caught)between a fathers demons and my lovers truths
Escape I can not. I guess I'm stuck with abuse.
#speakRED

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