34 Seconds

 

Remembering the nights you would sing

me to sleep under the rolling thunder.

dusting away every bad memory of that

day & try to caress  the tones in your voice.

as vibrant as spring colors



you’d take me to the park and help me

engrave our initials in the cracks of every tree.

splatter paint over our hands and leave the

impression of baby fingerprints on the concrete.



how about when you caught me lurking in the kitchen at night

trying to sneak cake.

and we sat in the kitchen telling stories about what would happen if they

caught us both stuffing our mouths :)

those were the days



but as i got older i started to notice something about you grandpa.

you're not as attentive as you used to be. i tried to act like i didn't

know what was going on. i thought that would help me from being so

upset.

 

then you started to forget things. like when i came to visit ,you

couldn’t even remember my name.

or the time when i went to the store for you and when i got back u called

the police on me. you thought i was trying to break in. well i was but not into

what you thought



i wanted to break into your mind and save all the memories we have of each other.

i wanted you to remember me and all of what we had so i broke into your fortress

disrupted rooms and stole away all of the moments that where so precious to me.

that even if you completely forgot me i could easily show you things to reboot

who you originally were.



grandpa i prayed.

don’t give up on me i am and always will be a criminal to your thoughts

i will do whatever it takes to refresh your memory on all that you helped me through.

grandpa you are the master mind to everything,



3:12 pm may 10th 2011

you died on me.

not even 12 hours after

i left you in that hospital bed



you can’t tell now, but that moment you left me

to rot on this earth you stole away what was rightfully

mines.



You once told me

money isn't everything

it could buy me a bed but no sleep

a book but not knowledge

yet I did get something, a clock

it couldnt turn back the time

no matter how many times i reversed this knob

my fingernails will always peel themselves

back at the sence of my skin touching yours again.



so i just call your phone back to back

knowing that i wont get an answer but just to listen

to your voice on this recording for 34 seconds

to have flashbacks of us,

to feel you holding me

to scream why wont your respond to me!

at this phone line for 34 seconds



but in all it wont stop these tears

from trickling down my cheeks

or keep these thoughts from

scraping up against my lips.



yet i refuse to give up on you



so when you catch that slight moment where my name almost

slips off the edge of your LIPS i will be there with the camera on film

and i promise to catch every breaking moment i can to plot my scheme on breaking

into your mind again and stealing what was rightfully mines



grandpa all i need

from you is 34 seconds.

 

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