As I Lay

Lay In Bed

Awake, Alone, Cold

I Think About

How I Feel

I Think About

3 Years Ago

I Think About

How You Left Me Here Alone

I Think About

How Much Fun We Had Together

I Think About How Much I Miss

Your Scent, Your Smile, Your Laugh, Your Everything

I Realize How Much You Mean To Me.

As I Think I

Cry, Scream, Kick, Punch, Smile, Then I Laugh

Because I Remember Our Fun Times.

I Remember You

I Remember That I Love You

I Remember That Your Are My One and Only.

Yet As I Remember, As I Think, I Wish, I Dream

I Dream It Was the Old Times,

I Dream My Life Being Less Complicated,

I Dream We Are Still One.

Then I Wish You Are Still In My Life.

I Wish I Could See You,

I Wish I Could Laugh With You,

I Wish I Could Hold You,

I Wish I Could Hug You.

I Wish I Could Talk To You About My Day.

I Can Imagine,

LadyBug How Was Your Day?

Well RedDog It Was Long, Boring, and Exhausting.

Well Why Is That, He Would Say?

I Would Say, Because I’m Sad You Aren’t Here,

You Died Before You Could Tell Me How Stupid boys Are,

You Died Before You Could Tell Me How To View The World Differently,

You Died Before You Could Tell Me Not To Be Upset,

You Died Before You Could Tell Me You Love Me.

Yet Now I’m Bipolar.

I’m Excited, Happy, And Hyper One Minute,

Then I Turn Around,

And I’m Sad, Crying, Mourning, Lonely, Irritated, And I Just Want To Be Left Alone.

As I Process This Through My Head,

I Wake Up Screaming,

“DADDY I LOVE YOU”,

I Realize it was a Dream.
Then I Realize It All Happened 3 Years Ago.