He is often my 3 AM thoughts and lie there hoping that I am his.

I replay our countless conversations, hoping they'll show me a sign--a signal that he cares, a symbol that maybe he views me as I view him, that he desires me the way I desire him.

I lay there for hours.

 The sign never appears. 

I laugh at how I even entertained the thought that he'd be thinking of me...

How dare I think I was worthy of his time, how dare I believe that someone as beautiful as him...could ever care about a wreck like me.