Fifteen  March 7th, 20XX. 15 years, 5 months, and 2 weeks ago from today. 15 years of memories, years of ups and downs, and years filled with love, ambitions, and dreams.
 This is 15. Fifteen is the realization that life is starting to drag you by the feet as you struggle to stay afloat. It’s the feeling of piling expectations gnawing at you like a school of piranhas. It’s the expectation that you have to have your entire life pieced together. It’s meeting those expectations, yet feeling that you’ll never be enough. It’s the deep desire to excel in everything, the yearn for more. Despite this, you’re brought down to this unmotivated reality, where your expectations surpass others. People fail and some do just enough. You think you’re doing great, but then you second-guess yourself: Have I gone down to their level? Why can’t I keep reaching? You feel stuck. Unmotivated. 15 is realizing that you can’t constantly hold that perfect shell of yours. There are mountains you can’t climb just yet; you need to develop skill and practice. You’re only a teenager. You can make mistakes. No matter how gigantic or small that wall is, don’t beat yourself up when you lose grip. Keep climbing, and focus. You can do it. After all, the best teacher is experience. Take those falls to heart and learn from them. At fifteen you experience that familiar feeling of nostalgia. Despite clinging tightly to those dear, dear memories, time moves on. Friends stay, some come and go. You wonder how some of those kids from elementary school are doing. As you laugh with your friends, your mind wanders: the moment you’re living in will soon be equivalent to your childhood nostalgia.  Soon enough, you’ll be in college. Soon enough, you’ll have children of your own. And soon enough, you’ll be smiling, looking back at those photo albums. It’s the feeling of seeing your, once little, brother grow up. Now, he has friends, drama, issues; things out of your control. Will he be alright when he grows up? Will he grow to be someone you’d hate? You think about the innocent little games you’d play and jokes you and him would giggle at. You remember the times before social media and iPads and phones. The running, the games, the sun beaming on your face. His little smile, his laugh.Well, he’s not so little anymore. Time keeps going on. The future is closer than you think. Your parents are growing old, and you start to worry. When I die… they would begin out of nowhere.  When I die, you’ll be all on your own. I don’t want to die until I see you graduate college.  I hope I’ll still be around when you make it through high school. Death. Death is all around us. It’s scary. It’ll come straight at you without you knowing. It keeps you thinking about what’s next, its next victim. Your parents will die eventually. You can’t escape it. You start finding yourself cherishing every second with them, wanting to create more memories before they’re gone. Your late night talks and daily check-ups… it still doesn’t feel enough. You’re afraid of it all slipping away, that someday you’ll lose those precious memories. You think of the future: of all the stories you’ll tell about your parents. You wonder if your kids will feel the same as you do now. Back to the present: it’s your second year of high school. Progressing through school, you’re aware that the years only become more difficult. People start to burn out. You hold deeply to that ambition of yours. I won’t let that flame go out. You join extracurriculars and obtain leadership positions. Volleyball captain, basketball captain, orchestra section leader, club president, club secretary, straight A’s, all honors and AP. You want to go all out. You wonder if you’re doing too much. You say you can manage your time, yet you spend countless wasted hours on your phone. Are you actually being realistic? Can you really do everything all at once? You desperately want to say yes. You love what you do, it feels right to you.  By fifteen, you start to see how people change. You see people make reckless, potential life-destroying decisions. You see people start caring more about their looks and popularity. You see friendships disappear. You see things you wouldn’t have expected in elementary school. As for you, you still haven’t changed. That innocent child in me is still here. I don’t want it to fade away. You need to remember your beginnings. 15 is the beginning of finding confidence in yourself. It’s the point in life where you try to stop caring about what others think. You do and dress the way that makes you happy. It’s the minutes spent choosing an outfit every morning, making your hair look pretty. However, being 15 still means taking comments and dirty looks to heart. Fifteen is sticking with those you love. Those who you can truly be yourself with. People where you can laugh and smile without covering your face. People who you can hug, people you can cry to.  It is learning to be more mature. You start to understand different perspectives. It’s understanding that not everyone’s going to like you. It’s knowing that people live different lives. It’s learning to value what you have, to not constantly complain. Fifteen is being patient and showing compassion to those who really need it. Being fifteen is having the freedom to do what you want. It’s the feeling of excitement to new beginnings, but it’s also the feeling of stress and lingering responsibility. It’s the transition between adulthood and childhood. It’s the prime of your life.  This is 15.
This is me. Now.