10 Lightning Strikes
Where I come from is Pain
A pain I always have to cover.
I cover my pain with smiles and laughter.
So, what is pain?
Pain is a sereis of lightning storms that don't go away
these storms,
they stay in your heart forever.
Where I come from, there are afew lightning strikes
okay,
more than afew.
The first time the lightning struck, my heart froze.
The 1st lightning strike--
Daddy, Daddy,
Daddy hit Mommy.
The 2nd lightning strike--
Mommy and my brother
and I
left ~ nowhere to go
Where I come from, there was nowhere to go but up.
So we did
And there, again, was lightning.
The 3rd lighting strike--
A new Daddy, this Daddy,
was different, scary, like the first, but, different.
The 4th lightning strike--
"Daddy" hit me
The 5th lightning strike--
"Daddy", "Daddy",
"Daddy" TOUCHED me.
They asked me questions, the school did.
But, all I did
was smile.
I laughed.
I said no.
My smiles and laughter hid my pain.
How could I tell?
Lightning strikes again--
"Daddy" found out they asked.
He said he's hurt me.
So
I smiled and laughed
I covered up the fear.
The 6th lightning strike--
Mommy, "Daddy" hurt me.
He lied, he said he didn't.
When he took me to the store that day "Daddy" told me somthing.
That's when the 7th lightning strike hit my heart--
"You'll never amount to anything, all you're good for is sex."
I was 5, what was this suppoused to mean?
"Daddy" hit me.
Where I come from I will never be anything.
Lightning struck again--
I became something
A foster child
They, they took me from Mommy
My brother and I,
We got a new "Mommy"
"Mommy" was mean, hateful, demeaning
9 months later I could go home.
But,
In those 9 months I grew up
I became Mommy.
I was Mommy to myself and to my brother.
But, when I went home,
we left my "Daddy" and
Mommy was my Mommy.
Life was okay.
Until lightning struck again--
We lived alone in a little place
Where the McFarland Boys roamed, and,
it was scary.
When the lightning struck the 9th time--
My brother was in the hospital
I felt alone, and smiled, and was...happy..
And he came home and I really was happy.
The storm subsided.
Until, one day,
Daddy came back
And the lightning struck for the final time--
The final time the lightning struck, my heart froze.
He told me he never wanted to see me again.
Just afew weeks ago, the lightning struck.
But, i still feel the pain.
I still smile, I laugh, I am happy.
Where I come from,
I cover the pain,
I avoid lightning,
I smile.