So covered in wounds
I became one
to all that I loved, to all that I knew.
A very vicious cycle of abuse.
It felt like I was walking in my sleep
and woke up from a murderous dream
to a gruesome scene;
severed limbs and blood on my hands
and I could do nothing more than cry
as I laughed.
Here I was; all alone
with their hands, legs, and heads to hold.
The nightmare was a making of my own.
Flesh of death,
bones of sorrow,
and inside I was hollow,
all my life I wanted more:
a sky of blue for me to soar,
a boundless sea to make my heart roar,
every mountain for my feet to climb,
every forest of oak, cedar, and pine,
every star that ever shined
Oh, I swore
all of the earth would be mine.
Glorified and exalted all creation
but knew not of whom it was created.
So I made a choice to let the light shine through
this vessel I now call
for she bids farewell to the moonlit highs
where she foamed at the mouth
as her eyes rolled back white,
where she dared not to cry
for her flesh,
In the dark I was a star,
the brightest to burn by far,
so in the dark I chose to stay
feeling life was but a game,
but even stars pass away,
even stars fall from grace.
Oh, how they all star gazed,
my soul like diamonds in the blackest of caves.
But did you know,
a star’s it's brightest as it's core implodes,
so as you gawk it suddenly explodes
that supernova is now a black hole.
Yes, I felt it in my soul;
100 billion degrees of desire
fusing gold, silver, uranium, and iron
but before you know it there's nothing left
except a blackness that is immense.
No light can escape its accumulation,
beware of the pull of temptation.
So I left the night and woke to day,
my skies went from black to grey.
Trying to send the clouds away,
I isolated myself and began to pray.
O dear father, take my shame,
my bones are hallowed by your heavenly name,
heal my soul, kill my flesh
every day I will do my best
and they shall call me
for all my being will be trained to bring
glory to you.
Here I am
and yes I've changed.
With God's help, I've climbed out of the grave.
I've fixed my eyes on things above.
I've been healed and am learning to love.
I've asked for mercy,
I've bared my shame,
I've forgiven those who've caused me pain.
These gruesome tasks made me weary
but I've grown so much,
O, my soul
God truly did carry.
Bless the Lord!
O, my soul
you've let yourself grow in His glow.
So when they see my internal glow up
Oh, I'll know it's you.
In your eternal love I've been renewed.