Teachers really are the key to our future success,

But they do tend to test us students at times

With their cliché lines about how studying the text

Can make you the best prepared for the test,

Sometimes they make us want to tear our hair out,

But if you know how to navigate school,

You can beat them at their own game.

Here are some tips to survival that they

don’t want you to know about

that will steer you on the route to graduation.

 

First,

Don’t waste a single second,

Or you may be taking a course for a second time.

In some instances,

You will have to put your butt on the line

And cheat a few times to get by.

All you have to do is make the grade,

Just a couple lies, you’ll be fine.

So copy, copy, copy.

No not word for word though

Or the teacher will end your world like Nagasaki

With expulsion.

Do not,

I repeat do not cast out nerds.

They can be an asset to you,

So make at least one your best friend,

Or at least until the course ends.

Become a teacher’s pet.

Don’t be too obvious

About the obvious reason you are up their ass.

This can help you get an A in the class

If you go along with the game.

For those of you kids who are considered lame,

Make it your aim to appease the bullies in any way

Whether it be giving them your lunch money

Or laughing along while they call you names.

Seeing roaches the size of your pinky finger

Will become an everyday thing

So eat all snacks accordingly

Or they will assertively proclaim their rightful place in your kitchen.

Don’t believe the hype

Teachers do have favorites

They are humans just like you

So don’t be surprised if you see a few

People with grades they don’t deserve.

If you have nice curves,

Don’t attract attention by wearing skimpy clothes in gym

You’ll never know if the teacher may be plotting

To take you home with him.

Lunch is probably the worst part of the day,

Because you know there is no way the approval

Of the preparation of the food should be legal.

The lunch ladies snicker and smirk as they watch you’re disappointed

Face as you look at the slop you are appointed to.

You either eat or starve.

That one is your choice.

During bag check,

Try your best to not push or shove people,

But if other people do,

Follow behind them and make your way through.

If you’re going to bring things you know you shouldn’t like weed or perfume,

Make sure you hide them in a good place.

Go to teachers who you know don’t waste their time looking all the way.

 

School in general is a huge waste of time,

But somewhere along the line you have to pass

Or you will finish last in the race to success.

Talk to your parents

Keep them informed.

Even after you graduate,

If you make it that far,

You will be happy you learned

That the good life is never given,

It can only be earned.