No matter I sustained multiple contusions about the face and neck and minor head concussion after the missus tossed an unopened box of five apple pie stuff'd oat bites in my direction (what got whisked - as clocked by yours truly at lightspeed), nevertheless (whew), no permanent damage prevailed regarding the cherished goods.

While recuperating in the hospital bed,

I decided to craft incident report,

(yet refuse to implicate the missus)
quickly letting fingers
skitter across keyboard
couched with divine intervention,

cuz yours truly nearly got declared dead,

thus the following words quickly typed
before creative juices fled
despite skeptical readers,

who might immediately deduce
that I rightly ought to be
declared out of my talking head
thankful caring empowered

stalwart connections qua invaluable friends

gifted with emergency lifeline when pitted
with suicidal ideations, predilections,
utilizations fostering existential crisis,
hence resilience taught to thwart
self harmful and hurtful modus operandi

 

thru the dogma, ethos,
and faith of worthiness

and in remembrance of JED,

(whose founders lost
above mentioned son to suicide),

thus inadvertently halting epidemic,

whereby teens and young adults

offered mental health resources
by building resiliency and life skills,
promoting social connectedness,
and encouraging help-seeking

and help-giving behaviors
through nationally recognized programs,
digital channels, and partnerships,
as well as through the media

spreading the word

to cope against desire to annihilate self
(think nihilistic existentialism)
receiving immediate access
to forge an excellent outlook
reliable material broadcast

 

across social media platforms

exemplifying and identifying linkedin
ingenious and innovative modus operandi
such as promulgating hotline
flown like the goodyear blimp
videre licet zeppelin made of lead

clearly displaying credo
(which unfortunately never came to my aid -
just another statistic courtesy anorexia nervosa
explains how I died when just a lad)
summed up as Ned:
 

A character education program that uses a cartoon character named NED to promote kindness and excellence in schools. NED is an acronym for "Never give up, Encourage others, and Do your best".