Rude awakening thru derogatory feels
Let's Be REAL here:
I can't stand any more Heart breaks of a lost Love that can't ever be again.
It'll kill Me.
I want to Live.
I have felt only hurt from You too much already since You been back here.
And I tried again to be something special to You just to find out I'm nothing but a piece of shit, manipulating liar is Who I Am to You instead, all said in Your Own words, not Mine.
So to be anything more than a Friend is painful.
I know I tried.
And all the bad shit You keep putting on Me is not Mine.
I will not take it.
Think it all You want.
It doesn't make it true.
What I know true for Me, is I really Love Myself and did the work to know what's Loveable in Me.
And I know I Am a Heart that wants to Love and be Loved by another Heart, and only for the Heart I Am.
I'm tired of BEing alone.
I did My part of vulnerability and opening My Heart, home, and FAMILY to You...
Just for You to beat Me down with all the shit, mean ass, mother fucking things You truly think I Am.
And You broke Me again.
I can't take it no more.
Please just stop.
Since I Love You and can't immediately throw You out, this makes it harder, from here on out, to be around You in the here and now.
But! I will please You one last time, with the shortest time You need, to get Your shit and leave.
Because I have Love and respect for One and for All.
You get the last of My patience and My time to wait for You to gather Yourself too, and go.
I Love Me more because I MUST.
And since No One Else right here right now, will Love Me, the due worth I truly Am.
I WILL.
That's why I'm removing My kids from Your unjust influence as well.
I just know that You ain't Loved Me for Me.
I know all what Love is NOT too.
It is not in the way You think, talk, and do to Me, in order to hurt Me purposefully in Your hopes You gain from Me, for only You.
Otherwise why even say and do it in the first place?
And by when, in all the do's that can be done, You can do so, in front of My Kids in which You claim to Love as Yours.
This is where You meant the worst of all to Me.
The line I drawn You, that You've crossed, caused Me to sit up take a looksee into You.
As in and all, to and around You, in Your happenings to Me is with You, as for My meanings.
It all makes sense for Me then.
Where faithfully the reality situating Me sits in the here and now.
What's been done to Me is definitely not Love, in My definitions.
Then know now! That!
I WILL TO YOU, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO TALK TO MY KIDS.
I don't care if You say You Love Them and would never hurt Them.
For where when Your word is in question of, why You're doing Me unLovingly, it is done unto Them too.
As They come from Me and therefore Am Me.
This is how I know otherwise, in all that You're falsely claiming; For, it doesn't even land right, in the land You're so called claiming, as Your grounds to speak on.
I do know this, You're going deservingly unheard as I pin My ears back, due to Your intention's Own indiscretions.
And it's because of MY KIDS that I learned to Love Myself even more.
I know what it looks like to Love My Kids.
I proclaim You this!
It's not treating Their Mother like shit in front of Them.
And You walking around mumbling shit in Their Own home, My home, about Me is not Loving actions They heard You speak.
Your actions told what was spoke.
So said, so it went.
From You in direct to Them, is in deposit to what They think of You, thereby Me too thinks now.
Whatever came from You, is enough said to be heard from You, and that should say it all right there.
It is did and now all done over, You're finished here.
As You did all that You did.
What You've done is before Me, right here in My Loving home turf.
So It don't matter what YOU say that You, Yourself did and said, as much as it does, when You were doing all that You said and did, You done it to Me.
Deeds done unto Me makes it quite much clearer the discretionary decisions to make as I take away Me from You, the negligence You hold Me to.
The fact is You shouldn't have done that in the first place.
Weaving Your bad thoughts i.e. bad medicine in the home because You're entitlements got You thinking Your "FEEL" is above all, the ultimate law to judge Me by, to say I'm doing bad shit to You.
Yet, You refuse to work Your unresolves out with Me, is in the wrong here I say.
It's passive aggressive to hold shit against Me but act out blatantly towards Me because Your inadequacy to be mature and in control of Your abashed thoughts, words and deeds, claiming blame on Me for BEing the shifty shady shitty One, while You're smiling and giggling to My face.
That's not Love.
Well I'm not here to teach You how to be You either.
I'm here to be Me.
I'm not waiting around for NoOne unWILLing to go the distance too.
I'm dying to be Loved.
I'm not here to be Someone Who wishes to be dead because My Love killed Me by Loving You, Who ain't Loved Me, instead.
I want to Live for Love.
Not die for Love.
I did that sacrificial death My entire Life, I'm a walking corpse, coming back to Life.
I want to Live!
Live I say You!
So I know when I'm expected to die for Someone's Else's NOT Love in Me.
It's a good map to know when I'm in that kind of presence of Someone Who hate.
I'm afraid to be around that.
And more times than not, since You've been here, I feel Your hate towards Me.
And the only way You'd Love Me is if I'm not the Person You hate.
That's asking Me to change so You can be sure of Yourself to know how to be around Me.
I will not kill Who I become for You to Love Me.
That's why I would appreciate while You're in My home if You would respectfully keep away from Me and My Hearts, My crown jewels, My Babies.
I don't want no more pain hurt or damage.
And I don't feel animosity, like You think.
I feel fear when I'm with You.
I'm afraid to connect.
Believe it or not, this Person Who You call a "Lowlife" has feelings too.
You did very well with Your Self regard, here in this matter to Me.
Thank You.
I dare say I'm proud.
You've made My Love that I Am, more in Me, of and for Me, grow exponentially.
I'm solidified in My Heart's solitude, in all matters in Me.
But in the matter of where I'm from, is where I come from in Me, to which only I can speak.
In My meaning to say.
What I see in this matter before Me.
To which I can now speak.
I say to You from Me is this:
You're felt.
I see You.
Yet, I don't know You, yet.
So I ponder on this "yet", that's to be seen.... Yet?
What, is yet here, FOR ME?
That's worth MY seeing, yet?
And here is wherein value I must stand.
I AM the ONE WHO has all right, above all Else, is in the sole responsibility, to Me, to be the ONE to look out FOR ME, in all the "yets", that I've yet to discover.
IT WILL BE FOR ME.
SO FOR ME TO SEE, IS TO SEE FOR MYSELF.
This is where I stand on Me.
MY GROUNDS....are the grounds I've walked, to KNOW, in ME, in all ME, is righteously MINE, as MY sole proprietor, I KEEP.
I'm My keeper to know this about MYSELF.
I KEEP ONLY ME RIGHTEOUSLY MINE ONLY.
I WILL NOT be taken from, Me NO MORE.
I GOT ME.
And what You do to Me will not go misunderstood.
And definitely not unnoticed.
I stand by My side, in MY OWN right, to Love Me righteously so.
And I stand for LOVE for
I
AM
LOVE.
And I will stand against anything not LOVE directed towards Me.
I AM MY LIFE WORTH LIVING.
I will do whatever it take to protect MY LIFE and everything that makes MY LIFE, MY LIFE.
This is where I find MY worth in Living MY LIFE.
BET.
So....
Who are You this Person standing before Me?
Asks, the truest is ME, here for sure.
MY true shared, is with Who.... Who is You?
In Our time Together I still don't know...
Oh well.
No matter.
Time is irrelevant, since it's on My side.
For I can say and do so, just as I do, because it's My time to Own up to and Live thru.
As I take the time I have and make My time precious.
Each moment spent is for Me to see all I need, is for Me to be, just Me Myself, in this very moment engaged all My senses, giving Me My Own clarity.
So I'll see....
I see now.
I thank You GOD, My heavenly Creator that Others either, run with or away, ME.
I'm curious to see what You'll do.
I Love all Life.
It's amazing.
How I can't exist, without truly knowing I can and avidly do exist, is only within the actual Life in and all around Me.
My directionality in Life is to successively be, in all causality of My originality, done only by BEing One and the Same with Life itself.
I Am required a death in worldly sense to essentially rebirth Me, into Life's preceeding Me gifts, where all proceeds go to Me in the making of all that I Am....is LOVE.
For the existence of Togetherness is where I find the ONE SOLE ME.
This is true existence....is true wisdom....
All from true Love.
Love has origins that can never be gone.
Making Love the ultimate LAW that exists beyond the transcends of TIME itself.
Where Love will always be Love.
Love is Love.
Love is.
Love.
LOVE
If nothing else exists, then faithfully there is no fear.
For, it's Love's persistence to Live, as LOVE.
Making LOVE it's OWN infinite existence set in eternity.
You is LOVE.
I Love You.
That's Who You is to Me.
Who is You to You?
Find You and show Me please.
I Love Your divinity.
Will You please see a Life with Me is the Life worth Your Living?
I beg of You My Love.
So stop fucking Me up unless You mean to righteously so....
If You know what I mean...
Then You already knew.
Otherwise don't fucking bring it, if You're not willing to bring Me, it, Yourself.
How like, I can, and do, to You, with.....
Simply and only Me, just Myself, I bring Me to You.
PURE is ΜΕ.
PURE ME.
ΜΕ.
So what the fuck is up buttercup?
Step up or step out.
No in between and sitting on the fence is allowed to Me and is prohibited of You.
Let's be clear here.
Here I've come.
To see.... Who's all here with Me, as I Am all here, with Who is here.
My patience done gone through the door long ago.
It's up to You, in Your WILLingness to figure out where You are, realtive to I, in all future forecasts concerning Me and You.
Let OneSelf's purity come out and be seen.
It is in the stance that One takes on.
By maintaining OneSelf, in alignment of One's Own actions, with how One's Self talk is spoken, as what's said and done is all meant the same, and the loudest.
Only then, can One speaks in sincerity the sounds of One's Own voiced truth.
This is the ultimate Word of Anyone.
And One can say for OneSelf, where only One can come from, and can only be taken for only what One can say to and what for.
For only then One will know Others from the next original, as is where the REAL is risened to Live, for walking the real Life.
Truly, the only requirement OneSelf is ordered to do, if One wishes to be next to Me, is the same as I proclaim Me to be, in order to be next to One Other, other than Me, is still expected, is One and the same....
Be REAL with OneSelf before You can come be REAL with Me.
Existence is all that matters here to come correct Me then.
I choose then to Be My Existence.
What then are You choosing to do?
Are You with Me or not?
Pick a stance, must You choose Me, be with You.
I choose Love, is all I Am really here to be, REAL AS REAL I AM.