LOVE.....(MY FRIENEMY)

LOVE.....this is something that will forever have control over me. It's caused me to make alot of mistakes in life..as well as making beautivful memories. Though the lack of it from my mother caused me to go into dark places in life. Because she'd rather enject those drugs then take the time to give me a hug. Her absence in my life and heart left permenent scares cuts and wounds.....But worst of all left a black hole in my enlarged fragile heart. And im always searching to fill that hole...and when I can i fill it in all types of ways. Im on a constant search for love to only be neglected and disrespected..betrayed and hurt with lies on top of lies..those same lies led to my many cries and those tears lead to me creating ways to repeat this mistake...im in desperate need for secureness..and and warmth..someone who can keep me from the hurt.. just someone to let me know im worth it..and this..all this along with my past dissapointments. And then I ask my self is this search worth my time of day? Could love be something that no one can hold within themselves for an enternity? Could it really just be a mind set? A stage? Fiction? A fable? A tall tale?......A lie... Could it be that no one can truly love? There too many sinful ways on this earth that we all commit adultry...and are doomed to be unfaithful and be deiceved by those we hold close. Everyone wants it but very few actually get it..many people believe they have possesion of it and the rest are smart not to bother. Either way I don't have faith that it would last...it seems no one has such integrity.Theres always a secret..because of temptation...because you held desire for someone who wasn't me. Theres a chance that someones emotions reflect mine. Having a great imagination that you were there's when you were suppose to be mine. All mine only mine but ment to be someone elses but you found me we found eachother. But why? Why do people come across such foolery? Why are our eyes exposed to those who show us pure fraud..And why do we become so blinded by it. Why are are heart so taken to it. Could it be that we are so desperate that we'd put our own minds and sanity in danger?
Because im still looking (shawn taylor)