Rainy Day Snacks
Hopping from the bus he trots through puddles,
Rain boots squeaking on the concrete.
He watches small friend groups huddle
Together when they meet.
Passing mossy bricks and fences,
He turns into an alley.
Glancing about, his heart tenses,
Seeing a wall painted in talleys.
He pulls out a paper sack
Filled with leftover lunch meat.
“Come on out. I’ve brought you a snack”
He whispers, while cars echo down the street.
From the shadows a little paw crept out
Followed by the head, torso, and tail.
It was a little dog with a scar across his snout,
His fur the color of a rusted nail.
“Here you go.” said the boy
Holding sliced salami in his hand.
The little dog snarfed with joy,
As the boy squatted in the muddy sand.
Patting the puppy on the head
He watched it munch away.
“I’m glad you like it,” the boy said
“And I wish that I could stay.”
“But I gotta go home now,
Soon it will be dark.”
He got up with a bow;
The pup replied with a bark.
Walking away the boy gave a wave
Trying to contain his sorrow.
He thought of the next day and what the puppy may crave,
As he called out, “Same time tomorrow!”
Comments
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Cadence Shifflett
Set the Stage
The tone feels very loving and energetic towards the boy and the dog.
I feel like the atmosphere is set up to be just a little bit sad and
detached-feeling, given the rain and how the boy notices other groups of
friends huddling. He seems lonely. It feels like there's a little bit of tension
coming from the boy as he went towards the alley. I thought that was really
cool! Mood-wise, there's a lot of emotion packed into little bits throughout
the ballad. The end felt bittersweet, but cheerful because it leaves the reader
with the hope that the boy and dog will meet again.
Language and Literary Devices
I loved the first and last stanzas! The first one grants onomatopoeia, and the
familiar kind that just about everyone's probably heard. I also loved the
phrase "trots through buddles" because the word "trots" adds character,
and also alludes to the dog that shows up later in the poem.
I like the last stanza a lot because it eases all of the tension building from
the boy and the dog's sorrowful goodbye.
As far as questions go for this one, the poem was extremely clear overall!
The only thing I had a question about was the "wall painted in talleys," often
talleymarks are associated with deviant acts, so I was curious as to whether
or not the boy made those marks to remember where the dog was or if
someone else had made up. It's shrouded in mystery, which builds a little
suspense! I didn't know if that was intentional or not, so I wanted to point it
out.
Structure and Layout
The structure works really well with the poem! The rhyme scheme fits very
nicely with the story and doesn't take away anything. The poem's also set
up like a ballad, and usually ballads are used for storytelling, so I would say
the structure adds to the story the poem's telling.
makayladavis
Set the Stage
The tone is kind of sorrowful. The poem is speaking to the reader. This poem makes me feel sorry for the dog but also happy that the boy brings him food every day
Language and Literary Devices
I think the lines when the boy is with the dog and when he is juming in the puddles are imaginative. I think every line is in an order that makes sense and makes the poem enjoyable to read.
Structure and Layout
I think the layout being like a story gives more meaning to how the boy connects with the dog and what he does before seeing the dog. I think this poem is set up perfectly.
931535
Stage: A child feeding a puppy. Tone: Solemn/bittersweet
Language & Lit. Devices: Good use of imagery.
Structure & Layout: No issues here!
931535
Stage: A child feeding a puppy. Tone: Solemn/bittersweet
Language & Lit. Devices: Good use of imagery.
Structure & Layout: No issues here!