Nightmare

The last words you said to me where, " I wish I never met you", right before you stormed through the door and slammed it shut, blocking my way to stop you to ask you what I've done to deserve this I thought I treated you so right, never looked at you with malice intent, never spoke of you in any way that would degrade you I complemented you at every turn, I spoke of you like you where a goddess, and angel sent from heaven, a savoir that I needed but It, turns out that you were a demon, maybe even Satan himself, sent to make my suffering increase tenfold, a nightmare that instills a fear thats chisled into the stone of my very being a maze with no end, a trap that I fell for before it was even set, a mistake to think that maybe finally my torture was over that maybe my suffering was finally over, my curse had been lifted but it turns out I was just thrown into a new level of hell beyond the seventh level one made just for me a nightmare handcrafted for my personalized torture, all directed, orchestrated by your sadistic hands, built by you twisted visionary innovating vision, a twisted ingenious, prodigy in all the kinds of torture fathomable, emotional or physical you know how to perfect the craft, a sadistic overseer in my unending nightmare directed by you and starred by me, your biggest and most ambitious work yet, a master piece that will be known for centuries, all at my expense, a emotionless, careless, heartless monster you are, I thought you loved me but it was just, a flawless performance that’s done time and time again, you've refined it down to a T, a queen in the art of orchestrating treachery and betrayal, the master of all that is cruel and evil,  but I must ask why did you choose me to star in you demonic, sadistic, artistic masterpiece why me,… why me I've been through so much, felt so much hatred and pain, been alone for so long, when you came along, I thought I finally escaped my nightmare but I realize now it has only just begun a cruel fact, so I must ask why choose me to star in you twisted sadistic movie, out of all those who could be in it why choose me, I've felt enough pain I loathe the thought of any more but I guess you don’t need a reason, when your as… sadistic as you, a demon from the darkest pits of hell, a master in the arts of deception, and toying with emotions, a true manipulative devoted master of all those who follow her, a general with no care for her soldier, leader who's full of narcistic devotion to her own self admiration, you direct the masses to their graves, just to fill your need for a scarlet shade of red, to paint your demonic sadistic landscapes of hell, a demon that has me under lock and key, shackled to the wall, her most treasured slave a true master piece of your demonic work I just want to ask why you chose me to be, the star of your, cruel twisted sadistic masterpiece I just want t know why you had make me suffer more, why you created me a new hell to live in when, the one I lived in for so long finally felt like the closest thing I ever had to a place to call home, pain and loneliness where my friends but the monsters and horrors are strangers to me a new world a new hell, a new nightmare that I feel with the utmost fear that I wont be able to escape, a terror that will leave me broken and shattered, a even more fractured version of an already,.… Broken man, I mean, have I not suffered enough all my life I fought, with out respite and when you came along, I thought I finally found someone to share the fear, the pain, the gun that was put to my head, so tell me why did you choose me, I just want to know why I must fight in this new nightmare, why can I just lie down and die, why cant this end, why wont anybody help me lift this curse, help me fight,  help me end this nightmare, a terror that I lived in for what's felt like and eternity, an end that’s long overdue, a contract that binding allegation expired long ago, so what obligation holds me here binds me down.  

This poem is about: 
Me
My community
Our world
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Sidebur

In love there are things that don't understand, much is not to speak.

You write from heart, I send you a hug

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