Crack, the shining vase, which is now a myth
Crashes down to the ground. I look up with
Wide eyes, innocence shines outward at you
How could I see it coming?
You were my hero.
We sat down on the couch I always knew
The Gatorade cooler of news poured
Over our heads, the great loss ignored.
Only someone as messed up as you could
see this as a win. Trying to make good
Holding on to what’s left. It’s torn apart
All of those bullshit lies hidden so smart.
What I knew is gone, broken, and bruised.
New feelings of disappointment, despair.
All the while, my new “family” rused
And I have to sit back pretending I care
But mommy, I just want to know you’re there.
New pain stems from them just like the wilted
Flowers in the fragile glass vase. Quilted
Together the memories with stitches
Of pain. A new hope but ah with glitches.
Before I knew it – crack, broken again.
How could I see it coming?
You were my lover.
My whole heart was your possession, but now
It’s in pieces just like the vase. Oh how?
Broken trust, like my heart, like that stupid
Fragile vase. Too much faith in you cupid.
Is it my fault? With broken glass in hand,
“Didn’t I care enough?” Our love so grand
So I thought. Getting over you, so tough
You took it all, didn’t I give enough?
There is nothing left but memories now
The lies I believed: Stand up, take a bow.
Congratulations on breaking my heart
Was she worth it for us to fall apart
Into pieces? That vase I tried to fix
Hell, well why not throw more into the mix
Partially cracked I confided in you.
But who would have guessed, you too would pursue
The secrets I’ve told you in confidence
For my foolishness, reap the consequence
How dumb can I be to think you were real
Genuine, authentic. “not a big deal”
Pfft. More lies I believed. Wait what is that?
stabbing pain in my back. One more at-bat,
I strike out again, must be the knife,yes,
You called me your friend, but I must confess
All you did was take my once beautiful
Hand blown glass vase of faith, as usual,
And smashed it into a million pieces.
How could I see it coming?
You were my best friend.
Now almost unsalvageable, I try
To put it back together, to get by.
The Thoughts of happier, easier times
Run through my mind, prodding, picking sometimes
At whats left of my back, my heart, my head.
Alone in the dark, filling up with dread
Picking up the tiny glass pieces, my
Fingers bleeding, sticking with glue, oh why
Is there this fucked up feeling inside of
Me that says fix it, you need it to love.
No matter how hard I try, it will not
Ever be the same. Even if I fought
With everything I had, I never predicted
I’d be this shattered, broken, afflicted
Excuse for a nineteen year old girl
I mean, did you see this coming?