I know what you are.
They asked me how I was affected
at the situations you exposed an reflected
Did you know what it was like as a child feeling alone?
Your sitting right next to me but you're not really home.
I prayed to God to help you...
So I could have the mom back that I once knew
Take a deep breathe mom…
Im with you.
Time after time you tried to explain….
Why Im 10 years old watching the addiction you maintain.
Why are you so angry all the time?
I don't know what I did.
But until you got your fix
alone in your room you hid.
Why wasn't I important like the addiction was to you?
You dropped me off at Grandma's
an said this will half to do
When you left I wondered why you didn't want me.
And if it was because I made you angry
then mommy I'm sorry.
I can be GOOD
I can do BETTER
Just PLEASE mom as long as we can be together.
An you left
an did what you thought mattered.
Did you know in that driveway you left my well being shattered.
Grandma would cry when id cry and i didn't understand.
This cant the life for me that you had planned.
Grandma would tell me it wasn't my fault
It was something you were going through maybe
a sickness you had caught.
Grandma was so sad she said she didn't want me around your lifestyle
So until you got better this is how life would be for awhile.
Some days you were wasted others very high thats how i remember
each an every goodbye.
You didn't think I knew just what you were doing,
Or how bad i knew
your addiction was pursuing.
Telling me i know nothing,
or what its all about
As i watched it turn you completely inside out.
Ive never used, abused or craved you.
BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.
You took my mother from me
an into darkness you walked her so very far.
For so many years now you have had control!
Taking her heart,mind,body an soul.
You came first,
She craved your power as if it was hunger or thirst.
Ive never submitted myself to you
BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.
Your easy to get
You dont half to look far.
You didn't care that she was a good person Better yet that made it easier insertion.
You had her hooked after just one try
Not knowing when you were gone she'd want to die.
I watched her do awful things just to have you in her hands
But its not her fault it's what your addiction demands.
An you come back
Oh you always come back….
You know when shes vulnerable
So you pick up her slack.
She cant live her life without you in it every single day
She doesn't care about nothing your trying to preach or pray
An then one day you'll make her hit bottom
An the addiction inside of her will whisper "
This drug is very dangerous
wont stop till it fulfills death
I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
they call you