and before i could do the next thing,

everything i had pushed back before came piling back on.

 

every single thought,

worry

and reason i shake at night. i

 

could feel the environment grow cold

even in this hot place and thats how i knew,

i would start seeing myself as a disgrace.

 

i cannot even begin to explain the pain that my heart feels when things get weird.

 

i feel as if i was sent to space,

without the thing that covers your face.

just floating in emptiness,

letting it surround me completely. 

 

empty. vacant. space. 

 

the feeling could grow or shrink,

yet i still never know what to think.

should i praise that i feel too tired to do something wrong?

should i lay and cry or make a song?

should i sit in a pity and make a fuss?

when will i figure out that enough is enough?

a change will be made or maybe it wont.

the feeling will come back 

this im more than sure,

 

but ill just push it back,

 

behind a different door. 

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