First Born
I often feel ignored and neglected by him.
Is it my fault or hers?
Who told her to marry him?
Why did they have to have kids?
She changed him, and turned him against me.
He forgot about us, birthday, names, and all.
How could this be?
So one day I decided to tell him since he’s throwing us away, then we will be gone.
All of a sudden he changed.
I got phone calls and visits.
As things got better I soon moved in with him.
Now things are getting better with him and worse with them.
Who is them might you ask.. well it’s his wife and other 2 kids.
They are so mean to my Kenny pooh and I don’t like it.
Every time I take up for her and tell what really happened she asks am I Kenny’s attorney.
I wanted to say yea but she grown so I aint say nun.
I told my daddy I wanted to go to my mama house right now.
He thought I was playing until he say tears of anger in my eyes.
In the next 5 minutes Kenny and I were walking out the door on the way to my mamma house..
So I’m in Longview and haven’t seen my daddy in a month but talked to him almost every 4 days.
So when he comes I’m happy.
I try to show him my clothes and talk to him, but I’m rudely interrupted.
Listened to then ignored for the attention to be placed on them.
They talk to him almost everyday and tell him everything, when I have the chance to talk to him I cant.
I’m hurting so bad inside.
I feel like I’m dying from the inside out.
Dying of pain and neglect.
I know I should be grateful that I at least have my dad and he’s in my life,
Because some people don’t have a father.
But it just hurts so bad.
True enough I’m grateful.
I know it could be worse, and I’m glad it’s not.
I just wish I was able to tell him how I really feel.
I have a lot more to say but I just can’t.
Some days I feel like he doesn't even notice me .
Others I feel like I’m his world again.
All my life I was told I’m a princess.
I own up to that name.
But at times to me, in his eyes I’m nothing more than his first born.