screw society
a younger me
would wear makeup and clothing that irritated her to be like the popular girls
a younger me
would try in vain to talk like the preps and hurt herself because she didnt have social skills
a younger me
would starve herself and only eat crackers for weeks at a time to be skinnier
a younger me
would make herself puke after meals from 8th to 10th grade
a younger me
would mimic the way girls acted towards each other
a younger me
would date boys even though she wasnt attracted to them
a younger me
would learn to hate herself for being different
why
because society taught her to
society made her believe that
in order to be happy
in order to be loved
in order to be beautiful
she had to look a certain way
she had to eat a certain amount
she had to love certain kind of people
she had to listen to certain music
she had to talk a certain way about certain things
she had to pretend to like the things everyone else did
she had to lie to people to protect their feelings
she had to be somebody she wasnt
but an older me
after going through all that pain
after spending day after day hating herself because of her flaws
after spending nights crying herself to sleep because she didnt like her body
after spending years making herself ill in order to meet the expectations of society
after spending lunch in the library because she didnt want to eat
after squeezing herself into way too tight jeans in order to look skinnier
after spending years feeling like she would be hated because of who she loved