I gave you everything and

it still wasn't enough.

It was never enough

You made me feel like I was

nothing.

Made me believe

That I was difficult to love.

And like a fool I kept trying,

I kept trying till it became

too much.

I got in so deep that I lost

who I was

I knew it was toxic

I knew it wasn't right

But no matter how bad things got

I couldn't help but try

I told myself it would be

different this time

I couldn't give up

Constantly battling 

over whether if this is love

or lust?

Cause if it's love

Then why was it so messed

up?

I would treat myself like 

nothing

Yet to you

I gave so much 

And then you go and break my

heart

Tell me that you're sorry

and that this is a fresh start.

And like a fool, I'd wait.

wait for the day you'd make

another mistake.

A part of me wants to

speak up,

But I hesitate. 

It's like you're controlling me

you've infected my brain.

How do I  escape when you've

become part of my DNA?

Even when you're gone

I'm still the one left with

all the pain.

He said he's sorry

He told me he didn't mean

it and that he's going to change.

And I choose to believe him

when he says he won't hurt

me again.

I'm not expecting you to

understand.

Go ahead judge me

But if I lose him

I'll have nobody

Do you get that?

Who wants to live a life

where they're alone and empty?

I need him just as much as he

needs me.

In some sick twist of fate.

He completes me.

That's why it works.

We just keep going

Till one of us inevitably gets

hurts

so yeah

I choose to stay

Go ahead and call me weak.

I'm not expecting you to

understand, just know that

leaving someone is not that

easy.

He's gotten into my mind

and without him I'm

paralyzed.

To the point where I force

myself to believe him every

time he apologizes.

Even though I know it's all lies.

Every waking moment I cry.

I've gotten used to it.

It doesn't hurt so much

anymore.

I've become numb to it

I've become sore.

And in some sick twisted way

he's my only cure

What can I say?

I'm incredibly flawed.

Love isn't like what you see

on tv

this is what it's like

this is my reality

It's not as magical as they 

portray it in a Disney movie.

It's a lot of pain and sacrifice.

you just keep pushing 

until you bleed.