1.The smell before the rain.

2. Long walks at night.

3. Songs that make me cry.

4. Big sweaters in the winter, warm and comfortable.

5. The taste of blood surfacing when giving hickeys

6. Solitude. Being completely alone.

7. My mother.

8. Crying. Long, endless, loud crying.

9. Singing very loudly and very bad.

10. Having sex with no strings attached, again and again and again.

11. The pain of tattoos. The beauty of them too.

12. New clothes.

13. Uncontrollable laughter.

14. Having control over the radio in the car.

15. Writing poetry that makes sense. The good stuff.

16. Lord of the Rings.

17. The warmth of freshly dried laundry.

18. Sleep.

19. Knowing my friends are doing well and are happy.

20. Getting drunk enough to make brave decisions.

21. Letting sadness overtake me. Self harm.

22. Home.

23. Adventuring to new places, seeing things.

24. Self destruction.

25. Days when I don’t miss you.

26. Weekly horoscopes.

27. going swimming in the dark.

28. Dyeing my hair.

29. Knowing that there is a future for me, without you in it.

30. The end of my period.

31. Days when I do not have to get dressed.

32. Writing letters. To anyone, about everything.

33. Days when I do not want to kill myself.

34. Everything.

35. Without you.