Build
Relationships
Are cultivated
Relationships
Are made
Relationships
Are real
When I was young I tried killing myself
I tried three times before I gave up
The whole world hated me
My family hated me
My friends hated me
...
God...
Hated me...
I felt that there was no where to turn
The knife in my hand moved with grace and form, beautiful
It sat on my wrist for five minutes
I barely drew any blood
I was terrified to create a mess with the hate I had for myself
I hated me
I hated that the medication took away who I was
I hated that my brain went haywire and I seized
I hated myself
There were no relationships
There were no boys at my door
No friends asking me to come over
My family was banging on my door
That's when depression struck
And the knife drew blood
The trickle ran down my hand
Slowly it hit the ground
A drop of blood stained my grey carpeted floor
The red liquid was real
The streak it left was drying
And suddenly the hate was gone
Sadness filled my eyes as the tears ran down my face
My wails so load my mother swung the door open
She stared at me while I cried
She didn't know what she did wrong
She held me while the blood continued to seep out of its wound
And I cried...
I woke up in a cold sweat
It was a dream...
I didn't pull the knife on myself
But I did seize... I was stuck with medication in my system
It was then that I told them
I sat and cried and told them I tired to commit suicide
I told them that I had the knife against my skin
And how much that knife felt good as it pierced the epidermis
Showed her the scars that I left myself
The sadness behind her eyes shown bright
So confused
So sad fo her 13 year old daughter
Her daughter who felt so alone that she turned to a knife as her friend
The knife that she held against her own neck
Against her wrist
As she found the artery to cut
It was then that she realized that the relationship that was 'built' was fake
We had to start over
We needed to learn to love each other again...
Relationships
Are Cultivated
Relationships
Are made
Relationships...
Are important...
Without them, the knife in your hand
He's your friend that says it's okay to take the life that is your own...
He says it's okay to place his blade to your skin and cut as deep as you can...
Relationships
Are built
Build them...
Before it's too late