Please Hear Me Before...
Location
Please Hear Me Before…
Hear me please, now not later
Needless to say I am afraid
The timing is never a given for me or better
Of what I have become and what is to come
Don't be fooled by me for I can hardly speak
The words all fall apart when I begin to open my mouth
I give you good impressions but, I have to hide
Can't you see I'm speechless
I say I don't need anyone but, do you really believe me
I'm speechless so that I can hide well
Well so no one knows my feelings
My feelings of loneliness, fear, confusion, and torture scare me so much more
You've teased me, harassed me and I have continued to fall
I often wonder why others keep closing my hearts door
I dwell on the things no one else knows about
I fight; fight very hard for the thing I do cry out for
I often think and feel that I want to die and take my own life
Would you care or would you just look at me with a shameful stare
It's like everything is hopeless
It feels like a never lasting world
Should I take these pills and cut my wrist so that I bleed from the inside out
Maybe try to get hit by a car away from everybody and yet so far
I want to scream so badly and make my voice shout
I hate my mind it's driving me crazy
My gut aches, my heart breaks, and my eyes keep crying
I can't control these thoughts of destruction; I've become so numb and crazy
Hopeless and alone, without someone hearing me
It’s frightening maybe, you'll think of me less and whatever you think might just kill me
Deep down am I nothing
You've teased and harassed me for so long
My heart is heavy and the feelings are not gone
So, I have continued to fall
I can't bare the thought of being a nobody anymore
I'm just no good, it always seems this way
You ask me what's wrong so you can try to understand
But, I tell you the opposite of what I am feeling so you don't hear me cry
Or see me really hurting
I'd feel that you would notice if I'd say what's wrong and that you'd reject me
I can't bare to be rejected by you
You’re everything to me
Even when you hold out your hand for me
I try to have you think it's the last thing I seem to need or want
I try to hide very well even if I only hide within myself
I fight; fight very hard for the thing I do cry out for
I often think and feel that I want to die and take my own life
Deep down am I nothing
You've teased and harassed me for so long
My heart is heavy and the feelings are not gone
So, I continue to fall and wonder what’s wrong
What’s so wrong with me
I feel so blind I can’t see nor can I believe within me
The bridge is too high, there’s no rainbow or a sun shining in the sky
Should I take these pills and cut my wrist so that I bleed from the inside out
Maybe try to get hit by a car away from everybody and yet so far
I want to scream so badly and make my voice shout
This pain within me is torture to my soul
I think I'm ready to let go
Would you care or would you just look at me with a shameful stare
Where to go, Whom to turn to, How far will this pain let my blood flow
I'm dying inside and I want out, but, then again I think I’m ready to let go
Please help me.... Hear my inner most troubling thoughts in hopes that you won't pass on me
Someday I may be able to finally be free of this horrible pain inside me and I’ll be able to see
Please, don’t pass me by.... Please Hear me before....
Written and Copyrights By: Deanna Culver July 1989