They call me a model while my body remains a minority
Nobody understands that what I'm called is contradictory
The setting ain't a blessing but a violent hypocrisy
I struggle to know but forced to forget my history
Because model. and minority, ain't the same and never will be.
Because even if I can write my name in the right stroke order I will never, and always be yellow
I ain't good at starcraft
and even worse at math.
And I can't even talk to my grandparents as my mandarin falls through the cracks
My broken chinese is modeled after the way I hold my chopsticks
Where who I am will always crack, stack and shift.
society sees me as too asian but my father sees me as too black
I don’t even know what the fuck it means to go back
my psychic splits into fractures as my identity turns to sand,
it blows to the east into a commie, the west into jackie chan
Where the assimilation model forgets the one way english dope choke.
and forgets that Asia-America ain't a country and my soul was severed on the boat
every clack on the track becomes a flash back to the straw hats and hair tails
where the coolie's forgotten name transpires into dust onto the silk trail
We stepped off the boat asian people, but versed through halls into black.
The lynchings of my brothers in LA comes rushing back
Cuz 17 ain't embroidered with gold colored 8's
Cuz buddha smiles down upon my suffocated space
My race races through into fluid paper cranes
Gratiuitous becomes synonymous with forgotten bloody stains
The eclipse of white and black out shines the yellow moon
My body becomes invisible don't forget that me colored too.
My sentence structure ain't the best but my grammar is unique
Because the structure of my suffering is rendered obsolete
And my language just becomes black tattooes on ignorant shoulders
But I ain't correcting the way they say ni hao any longer
I drive my identity into the belly of the beast
Because fuck what an asian is I'll tell you what is me.