If I documented all of the words
Shouts
And for existing as a female
One would think I were crazy
To allow such a thing
So year by year , growing stronger in self awareness
Sometimes depression, and I myself have faught back verbally, i lie to teachers and friends that I have bronchitis or singing too much.
to lose my voice for weeks to his his rage received a deeper voice and more feminine taunting
Used Condoms layed across the bathroom sink
From an Adam4Adam visit
Or a phone conversation where my name is permanantly
B.I.T.C.H or W.I.T.C.H or " that ____ a Feminist"
Being a feminist.. Isn't that someone who stands for women's rights ? Is exisiting with him considered being a feminist because I have female organs as he reminds me
Overhearing a phonecall with his friends " that bitch on her PMS. She got her bloody tampons inside of her.ahahahhahahah she so ugly and stupid. "
His friends come by and they say hey Noel make sure you buy more tampons ahahaha
As my mother lays in bed
On her side..eating chicken
Watching Scandal
Here he is high from his "weed" and cursing me out again
Tall towering above 6'5" his tan skin beautiful lips and curly black shine of hair, pointed toe standing leaning on one foot, yelling at the top of his lungs
That I will never be nothing
That I should go get some Dick

Today.

I document.
I recorded him on my audio phone and I will continue everytime. It is my way of documenting. Because my mother doesn't care when he threw me across the floor and punched me in my mouth and ripped my dress
My mother didn't care when my father broke down my bedroom door and ripped off my dress and threw me in he corner because I would not give him my cell phone because I was going to call the police on ny brother who just threatened to kill me
Because my mother said Noel it's you! All you have to do is keep your mouth shut but you always open your mouth and he hit you and you deserve it
So today.
He called me a victim and that we should all cry in a sarcastic voice. I pulled out my cellphone of him yelling alone , as he made a catchy ryhme called " the bitch need some dick. Dick dick dick. That bitch need some dick. Dick.dick..bitch you ugly. I look better than you."
At 29 years old and unemplyoed smoking a joint in the house, he once had sex with a married man and left the toilet filled with feces
When I told my mother. She said " oh please Noel your room is a mess as well"

Today I document.
Today I document.
Today. I finally document.