This poem is not about a man
I am a small thing
A creature of few words and many small thoughts, my mind is running over with trifles and sweet gestures for the spirits that surround me
I am small in demeanor but corpulent of mind and conscience
I love in truthfulness and forgive without qualm
I am meek and bursting with happiness
I am sorry to live in sinfulness and strangely enough, sorry to live in the light
To run and run and run and never stop to see where I've brought myself is a tragic loss of tranquility
I miss you
I wish we could remember a time when we were neither of us so far away
I miss the idea of you tied around my chest and shoulders, a love in your voice and a joy running in the window like rain falling from heaven
Why did I leave you?
Why was I afraid
Why did the time fly away but the clock keep ticking keep ticking like you were still here
Why was I so selfish
Why am I so selfish
Why does God still care for me though I sin and cry out through my teeth
I am pretty creature, but I am ugly and I am pretending to be wonderful
I am not wonderful
But you are
How lost am in a world that is so far away from me
Why don't I belong with you?
Why can't I bring myself to humble and fall on my knees?
I need...
I am so selfish
Referred to too many times already
I hardly even hate to be a burden any more
I wish you would hate me
There I go again, insisting that this life has been about me
You love me still
I want
I want
I want
I need to sit, broken before you
You love me and I need to be a life at your service
I think bloodied thoughts and arch my back in prostration at your feet
I want more than anything in life to love you in all my being
In my very mind I fall into you
I crumble, empty, in your presence
Please hold me to your chest and whisper to me that you will accept me
Please say that all I am is you now
Please