There are days when

my fingernails rush to scratch the uncertainties,

run along my skin

to meet the places I am most vulnerable

scraping at impurities to their bloody falling out

 

I stay quiet in my bedroom,

writhe as her words

turn to dense smoke

lingering on the walls

 

 

 

She spits

 

It sticks beneath my nail beds

 

 

I sit here awhile longer

Let her tell me once more

 

that she wishes I could move a little faster

 

Says slowly through her teeth

"I wish you'd clean up your nails"