There is no time to explain this underlying pain I cannot remain forever in excuses to the curious minds of others about this dark internal world.
There are inner voices, whispers in the psyche of those long gone, who have left their mark, stamp, and trade. Like a Cow being branded. I am left stranded with the marks of the upper food chain.
I make a way at attempting to clear out this cluttered terrain, which appears infused in the very brain, I am drained.
The reason for madness is not my idea, it is, I think, the mark of those who stripped me bare, the minds of sickly people who have passed down, to another generation, their sick distortion and degeneration. I have been perforated and infused by a tumultuous unbridled unhindered history of illness and sexual escapades at a very young age.
The reason for madness is the mark of the beast hidden deep inside of me. No, not 666, but a sense of sick sick sick from years of self abasement and self abuse.
A lesson learned and ingrained from those who caused me too much pain and stain.
The reason for madness is here to stay, as I make continued efforts to clear out the way.
I yearn for more sunshine to enter this place, and chase out the madness from entering these gates; but here I am-
A grown up man, the reason for madness still takes a stand as I struggle to keep it from swallowing me whole. I will continue to find a way to crawl out of this hole.

Photo: Design Book Cover Diana Little
Note: El is a Hebrew word meaning 'The Strong One'