Victory
I won
I should’ve told you from the beginning to never underestimate me
I should’ve stopped your palm from ever reaching me
And maybe these insecurities wouldn’t be dragging me around
The very thought of you is unbelievably destructive, breaking every single part of me
The destruction that you made of me was ALL your fault
Your fault that now people will stare and feel pity over me
Your fault that I’m just another part of the statistics
Your fault that at times I wanted to crawl out of my own skin because the pain was too deep to dig out
Sitting next to you at first was ever lasting, you know the type of love everyone desires
But then it all came down to questioning whether this time I would leave with a bruise or not
Paranoid over where the brutality would hit this time
My face, legs, arms? I didn’t know and it wrecked me
I was trapped. Locked in your arms with chains pulling my skin
Leaving marks as a reminder, as if I were “owned” by you, as if I was some type of animal
I felt as a failure and disappointment ...
Wait, did I forget to tell you that I deceive you?
I allowed you to kill me while handing you the shovel to bury me with all these insecurities
However, the day you had two hands strapped around my neck was the day I absolutely couldn’t take it anymore.
I looked at you with such intensity that you couldn’t bear look straight back at me.
In a second a fist to your face and your crouched back to the coward you had always been
I’ve won and risen with full armor
Because I dropped to my knees and cried out to someone who told me everything was going to be okay
He told me He loved me unconditionally
God picked me back into his arms and cleaned every single bruise on me
But if I had anything to tell you now
It would be that ... I forgive you.
For laying hands on me
But most of all I forgive you for your lost battle