34 Seconds
Remembering the nights you would sing
me to sleep under the rolling thunder.
dusting away every bad memory of that
day & try to caress the tones in your voice.
as vibrant as spring colors
you’d take me to the park and help me
engrave our initials in the cracks of every tree.
splatter paint over our hands and leave the
impression of baby fingerprints on the concrete.
how about when you caught me lurking in the kitchen at night
trying to sneak cake.
and we sat in the kitchen telling stories about what would happen if they
caught us both stuffing our mouths :)
those were the days
but as i got older i started to notice something about you grandpa.
you're not as attentive as you used to be. i tried to act like i didn't
know what was going on. i thought that would help me from being so
upset.
then you started to forget things. like when i came to visit ,you
couldn’t even remember my name.
or the time when i went to the store for you and when i got back u called
the police on me. you thought i was trying to break in. well i was but not into
what you thought
i wanted to break into your mind and save all the memories we have of each other.
i wanted you to remember me and all of what we had so i broke into your fortress
disrupted rooms and stole away all of the moments that where so precious to me.
that even if you completely forgot me i could easily show you things to reboot
who you originally were.
grandpa i prayed.
don’t give up on me i am and always will be a criminal to your thoughts
i will do whatever it takes to refresh your memory on all that you helped me through.
grandpa you are the master mind to everything,
3:12 pm may 10th 2011
you died on me.
not even 12 hours after
i left you in that hospital bed
you can’t tell now, but that moment you left me
to rot on this earth you stole away what was rightfully
mines.
You once told me
money isn't everything
it could buy me a bed but no sleep
a book but not knowledge
yet I did get something, a clock
it couldnt turn back the time
no matter how many times i reversed this knob
my fingernails will always peel themselves
back at the sence of my skin touching yours again.
so i just call your phone back to back
knowing that i wont get an answer but just to listen
to your voice on this recording for 34 seconds
to have flashbacks of us,
to feel you holding me
to scream why wont your respond to me!
at this phone line for 34 seconds
but in all it wont stop these tears
from trickling down my cheeks
or keep these thoughts from
scraping up against my lips.
yet i refuse to give up on you
so when you catch that slight moment where my name almost
slips off the edge of your LIPS i will be there with the camera on film
and i promise to catch every breaking moment i can to plot my scheme on breaking
into your mind again and stealing what was rightfully mines
grandpa all i need
from you is 34 seconds.