Dear Anxiety,

 

No, you deserve a name.

 

You sit.

Curled in the corner of the room

Head down, shoulders slumped – you act as if you aren’t there

 

But we both know otherwise.                                          

 

Every know and every then, you look up

Your blood-shot eyes like bullets,

Shooting forward with one purpose, one goal.

You walk forward, your struggling steps and shaky speech

 

And you override my controls.

Flicking the kill switch back and forth

Back and forth

Back and forth

 

You beat my heart,

Punishing its loneliness and want

For a life.

You force it, manipulate it

To work smarter,

Push harder

 

I wonder if it hurts you, this pain

Or when I lose, do you gain?

 

Dear HOME WRECKER

That sounds more fitting, right?

 

How do I get you to leave?

You’re a persistent agony,

Blocking my heart from my sleeve

 

I want you to set me free

I want to be free

To giggle and laugh and shout

Without your barging in

And pulling me back

 

Back to the ‘safety net’ of my bed

Back to the suffocating thoughts of my head

Back to the bottomless pit of my soul,

Backwards.

 

You extinguish the lone flame that accompanies my dreams,

You dredge up memories I’d rather forget

 

And you hold on.

Tight.

 

You drown me in my depression

Holding me beneath the waves

You ignore my screams for air

Ruining my body beyond repair.

 

I want to be free

I want to be

I want to…

I want-

I?