toxic love
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I'm so deeply in love, I know I shouldn't be...
I shouldn't want you
But my heart aches
And
A heavy lump in my throat compels me to cry
Cry, when you're not around
Engulfed in rage from past disappointments
Cuts so deep it needs more than ointments.
Each day a subtle cry is released behind a faint smile
Emotionless and ever more docile.
We argue we fight
Like a blinding light from the heavens I bowed to you.
My eyes only saw perfection from every view
Kissing the ground you walked on as if it were holy soil.
Maybe he had a really bad day and went straight to bed,
he didn't text me because he didn't want to burden me,
maybe he will wake up in the middle of the night,
I am kindling.
You?
My fire.
I ache for your touch.
Ignite yourself in my body,
burn a picture in my mind,
show me something beautiful;
counteract what I feel inside.
What lies beneath
a breach of integrity
a struggling recovery plateaued
Resulting in a eminent demise
Forfeiting a prosperous balance
Of what could have been one of the greatest feelings indulged
“I love you but not in the way that you love me. I love how you kill yourself just so I can breathe. I love how you can't sleep at night because I linger around your thoughts.
“I love you” should never result in foes
It should never result in therapy, emotional damage, and fear
What do I do now?
You're slipping from me, fading
And a part of me somehow
Just watches as you call out to me
Screaming to follow you
Screaming to grab onto your hand
I followed his summer hues into a thick forest that left my wide eyes blind,
I never knew beauty like these evergreen trees,
I saw the sun dance on their dark leaves
teaching their full veins one more thing: how to glow
