slambehindthecurtainscholarshipslam
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Don't twist your words as for me to not understand.
I am young but I am not dumb.
I can see you from your ins to your outs as you tongue tie your words.
Don't waste your time, I see right through you.
Maybe at times i did things that hurt, but i tried so hard that you will always see
That having you was a blessing for you and me.
mommy, you're broken.
i hear you at night
your bottles are clinking
it fills me with fright.
mommy, were broken,
this family i think
the yelling seems constant
we continue to sink
t's 6:00a.m on the morning,
For a day that's prolonged, aggravating and boring,
You're tired, and exhausted,
These are the years of our lives that are the most awkward and stressful,
They took an oath of protections
and we gave them are trust.
Yet in the end it's those we trust our protectors.
That are our demise.
Dear Bully,
I feel sorry for you
you must feel so helpless
so alone
so hurt
that you must hurt others
so lost, so confused
that you have no other way to act
to lash out
the girl they see
quiet,
shy,
sweet,
strong,
the girl I am.
loud,
outgoing,
smart,
deep,
I am both girls unfiltered.
and im completely happy,
Without a filter I'm just a kid,
Without a father and a mother in prison,
I've seen some things that you'll never see,
Things that make small children scream,
But what you can never see,
Its a feeling not a knowing.
Curiosity and randomness lead me to you.
I feel so blue.
We are so clueless.
Where to begin and where to end.
Inspired by Maxwell
Separated…it’s only temporary
I keep asking questions but no one will answer me
“Sir, wait outside, wait outside”
Folded and sealed
In another envelope I haven’t mailed
Dealing with this sore wrist from my heavy writing
Another headache from all this heavy thinking and questioning
I am so very quiet
You might not know I am there
But I am your listening ear
I'm there to hear your problems
I hear to show I care
Just call my name
Tell me your shame
And once you're done
Mistakes,
Baby I'm flawless.
What you want me to be ashamed of,
Baby I flaunt it.
You talk and laugh about the way I look,
But don't understand that my ego can't be shook.
Every aspect of my life has
Always been a splintered crack
between myself and who I wanted to portray.
It wasn't my fault.
I just wasn't good enough.
I was not satisfied with who I was,
I wish I could share
with you
the euphoria I get when
I’m really,
really high
on life.
It feels as if I’m apart from my body.
It’s like a million birds singing with me,
I wish they'd pay attention
to the girl behind the curtain.
The sleeping lion, overlooked
because the monkey does the tricks.
I know she wants to come out
But I'm nervous, and hold her in.
I have two faces but I only show one
No one knows my true face, none
All you can see is my mask
Nobody even cares to ask
Who cares?
My real face shows my trepidation
Tugging, pulling at the curtain
Waiting to come out.
Waiting for someone to push me. I’m certain
When I had no place to go, your door was closed.
And when I knocked, I heard it lock.
So I let the rain cover me, and as it flows with my tears,
I know that I will soon have to face the mirrors.
Fidgeting, sweating palms, racing heart-
Please relax I say; my insecurities can rip me apart.
I'm so scared, on the fringe of fright.
This disorder makes me believe that I'm not at all bright.
I was handed a mask at a very young age.
Society offered, and like the rest I took the bait.
I drift the sea of those who offer you none.But when i witness you being giftedmy heart soars.
I am her.
I am that girl who is the most liked in school.
I am that girl who everyone loves.
I am that girl that everyone admires.
I am that girl who all the school boys like.
I am tough and I am strong but at times its not like that at all. There's a girl who gives a shit behind this wall and very few people walk through it.
Fiting into my jeans is almost as difficult as fiting in with everyone else.
The fear of never being wanted is almost as scary as my fear of being "that girl."
I am rainy days, butterflies and big hazel eyes.
I wonder where the rainbows end and when the sky stops.
I see old book pages turn and kites soar through the air.
I want to glow with kindness and radiate love.
I've made a deal with Mephistopheles,
One signed in crimson blood.
I resigned a significant portion of myself
To a hell in which you can't even imagine
And for no greater reason than
Little ones, afraid of the dark,
know more than we do.
They know secrets are in the dark,
"A Poem Written at One in the Morning on a Random Thursday" or "Maybe Curtains and Masks Aren't So Bad After All" or "A P
If I were less afraid I would have turned myself inside out and shown you even the darkest sublevels of my conscience.
I would have scooped out my thoughts
Like the innards of a pumpkin
The doors open for shows at seven,
And prohibit customers past eleven.
When the time comes and the clock strikes the hour,
Hundreds of people charge into the tower.
Swarms of customers all rushing about,
The crevices of my soul
Are left untouched by the purest of men.
They do not craft me, I craft myself.
A pretty picture I paint to the world,
Why one must hide just to be accepted?
Why must parents judge even when they say they won’t?
There are no reasons to lie just so we do not get criticized
A gaping pit of gossip, lies, and false faces,
Commanding our lives while depositing distrust, and paranoia.
My team, so tight knit, knowing each other so long,
Each sister victim can identify individual weaknesses.
I tend to hide what's inside
I don't know how to express my mind
I hide my soul behind brown eyes
I want to shout at the world, but get tongue-tied
I wish that people could only see
Behind the closed doors hides a little girl
She seems afraid and confused
She seems scared and alone
She seems weak and luckless
She seems odd and unwanted
She seems ugly and depressed
Life's a beach, the bugs dieLittle ones fall, moma cryLife's a beach, the water dirtyBullies, messin around with nerdiesLife's a beach, the sand is flat
I am no superhero, but I wear a mask.
My mind is morbid and macabre,
My face is stoic and static.
What am I thinking? "Nothing," I will answer.
It's my inaction that becomes my reaction,
What am I? Some may say a human-being.
But.. I lack emotion on my surface, but it swells in my core.
I laugh with this generation, but I do not chuckle inside.
Its always been hard growing up with a sister who slams on you, thinking you were never good enough, using every chance she gets to make you feel unaccomplished and worthless. I want to make her eat her words, and show her I am good enough.
When Life gives you lemons, they say
When Life expects you to make sweet lemonade,
When they expect you to follow Life's bitter rules
When you wished you knew what to do
I’m shattered
I’m a broken piece of the world
Trying to climb out of the pit of despair
Yet I still dream
Of a better tomorrow
I am beaten.
I am broken.
I am forced into a mold,
with no hope of escape.
With an iron grip they hold me.
My actions,
controlled with impatiance and cruelty.
But my mind remains free.
Abrasive and Bawdy,
Calamitous, Determined, Explosive, Fun, Gaudy.
At first glance I am so self-assured,
Deep within the shadows there's a me you've never seen
She hides within the darkness shrouded in endless mystery
I keep her locked up nice and tight
she never sees the light
There's just no guarantee
My tongue is rolling, twiriling and clicking.
My lips are pressing against tongue and cheek.
My throat erupts in a sound uncertain.
Trying to conjure words of language whose dialect has been long lost.
Behind these eyes shows who I really am
What you have seen , is just a mask
I look so brave with fire in my eyes
But in my heart there is a surprise
I seem strong and always happy
Counting the calories,
Secretly loving each bite,
Is being skinny
Worth all this fight?
Seeing your hipbones?
Collarbones too?
Searching for a thigh gap,
even though there's so much "you"?
I often hide
behind a false identity.
They think I'm boring,
because they don't know anything.
If they could only see me
for who I truly am.
But I won't allow it,
because sadly, I'm too fat.
A mask,
is not just something you wear on your face,
it is what can covering up the true you,
Why wear this mask?
Why do I wear mine?
I wear my mask to hide my fear,
my fear of failure.
You are a wild entity that I must tame
You can bring glory, you can bring shame.
A tightrope of the most delicate kind
You and humility must be intertwined.
On my quest for success and perfection
My eyes slowly open wide
my eyes see the blackened room around me.
It's time to start another day,
Its time to fake another me.
Another day of the same old things,
another day of the same routine
Behind the curtain
There is nothing uncertain
The world is mine to control
Away from the safety of my oasis
There is a basis
In the statement I am going to make
The print has faded
From the movie ticket of our first date,
Just as our love has done.
I still think about you
Life hasn't been seen
At the age of sixteen.
Yet decisions must be made
Before the choices can be weighed.
Life hasn't been seen
At the age of sixteen.
Yet decisions must be made
Before the choices can be weighed.
Bump bump bump
Bump bump bump
Do you hear that? Ah amazing
Beautiful, gracious, pure, dark light
It is so beautiful
I'm the cheerleading everyone hears yelling her heart out at every game.
The girl who helped send the softball team to state.
I'm the girl that's always smiling or laughing.
But at night I'm someone completely different.
Give me hope,
Humanity-
I'm livin' in a nightmare.
Praying for better dreams;
Jesus weeps
As he hears the
Screams of the
Saints.
The holy shouts.
Behind my mask I hide
far from eveythig
just out of judgement's reach
just out of presure's sight
jus out of pain's grasp
just out of stress's glimps
Behid my mask I hide
keeping hiddden
The girl behind the curtain
I sat beside myself for years pushing and pushing to just fight.
Fight for yourself.
Fight for your dreams.
But fear constantly holds me down like a crucifix on my chest.
What people don’t see is the society
Crumbling under the pressure of standards
Standards
As in requirements that need to be met in order for the simple human to be temporarily satisfied
Satisfied
She's so innocent, so sweet
Quiet girl, bustling world
Why can't she break free?
Why can't she scream?
Never being noticed or seen
So badly she wants the world to see
I pry my eyes open to see
a strength beyond my own
keeping me locked in behind
a blanket yet unknown
This force that hides my thoughts, my life
from ones i love and dont
If you turn me inside out
You shall not find mere biological organs
You will encounter an eager soul
Yearning to fully investigate the world
That lies beyond my flesh and skin
Is my nature free?
I will not laugh nor shout
And engulf in reverie
And then I say I am the sea
The moon the glowing orb
Is a friend to some but not the swirling sea
We hide behind a mask of lies
To keep the truth from waving "hello" and "goodbye"
But have you ever cried through blood shot eyes?
Hit after hit, on that emotional high
Have your lungs ever hurt so bad,
We are the Ones.
The beaten,
the broken,
the abused.
We are the Silent.
Bearing our agony with closed mouths.
The quiet,
the strong,
the mute.
We are the Patient.
from The pitch of the notes
to the way the words form a quote.
Music is deep,a story to be told
different for everybody, young or old.
The way the music flows
from notes high to low
The man behind the curtains
The face behind the veil
Hides one thats so uncertain
The wall that many fail to scale
Why is he so guarded? they ask
Who is he down in there?
I can sit here and dread over all the negatives
Of what I'm not.
But it won't really change who I am.
If you arent in a sport,
You aren't "popular."
If you don't smoke or drink,
You aren't "cool."
If you read away reality,
You are a nerd
If you fail a class,
I am only a girl,a girl with a heartand a soul made of glass.
A girl who walks alone,keeping to herself.I am just a mysteryto the world passing by.
Singers Sing
Drumers Hit
Bassists Bass
Guitarists Strum
We SHOUT
We Cry
We Sing
We Dance To The Beat Of The Drum
They Hug
We Tell Our Stories
They Listen
No one sees and no one can find
What I hide beneath this facade of mine
Constantly wanting for what cannot be
Constantly wishing for a better school,
A better life,
And better friends
See the smile,
she presents so sweetly to the world.
The gleaming of her happiness
an etched mask to those strangers.
No one can tell
the wounds she bears
beneath her covered skin,
No one's perfect,
and everyone carries a mask.
Scoiety's specific and judgemental,
you can never do anything right.
However, I think it's time,
for people to unveil themselves.
No one undestands what it means
To be alone
To be ignored
To eat your lunch in the library
Hidden behind stacks of books
So no one can see your shame
To look at your feet when you walk
Who am I?
The one cowering on the floor as the crowd walks by
Fear rips through my body
The anxiety tears at my heart with its needle-sharp nails
My breathing increases as my attack starts
What I have trouble with constantly
Is what I am ashamed of the most
People look at me and say that girl is so extraordinary
She can be herself without worrying about being ordinary
The Time is here,
Our final year;
hurray we cheer
to our senior year.
Friday night lights,
and football games,
homecoming dance
It's out senior year!
I C.Y.L.E
Yea I’m the friend you guys are always excited to see,
But truly am I, or is it just the thought that I’m easily to hurt,
Due to my ways of forgiveness and the way I am, nice!
Peace. Love. Happiness.
Remsembles all my wants.
My 'already haves' sofficated,
buried six feet under my soul.
Brilliance, Radiance, and Joyance
My life filled with so much love
My heart secure in a glove
Although I need to break out
To show all what I am about
My show lies in all I learn
The walls are black and the lines are blue
The curtains are draping around you,
For judgments there is no measure or amount
But for understanding-
Being.
Who we are.
Hard to grasp,
Yet easy to forget.
Never really looking at ourselves.
The time has come to let
Us look in the mirror and see
That who we are,
Who we will become
The Bully
I hear their ugly words, echoing in my head.
Ugly…Worthless…Nobody… I wish you were dead!
Words cut deep, can’t you see?
This word has ten letters
That cut away at my sanity
This word is like a drug
It ruins my life
Each letter individually brands itself into me
So that I will always remember them
My smile will not fade away;
No, not until my dying day.
I must stay strong
For those who do not care.
My heart is surely breaking,
A wineglass dropped on the ground
Without a second thought.
I might not be the best
But that's up to you
Whether you think I'm good or not
I don't have a clue
Sometimes we are to afraid to speak
So we hide behind our curtain
Not knowing what beauty we hold
The girl you see each and everyday
You know exactly the one that I mean
Well the image of her is leading you astray,
She’s not the girl that she seems.
On the outside she may be all smiles
Left on the table edge, can't keep it in much longer,
Pushed to the edge of my limits, can't give anymore,
Fear boils inside of me,
She is a hyprocrite
Full of contraditions
And consumed with a nonconformist spirit
She desires to be loved
Yet all she visualizes is hate
From innocent birth
to a peaceful death,
the wheels of a hearse
become our last breath.
For those who believe,
and for those who dismay;
there is such a place,
to where all may stay.
I hate it when people judge me
Acting as if they know what I'll be
It's just an average day i go through
Pretending to be happy is all i know how to do
I dont know if im willing to fight
Beneath the mask is a life unknown
But to some life beneath the mask is all they know.
The thoughts that spin through their head at night
And the smiles faked in the morning light.
Sweetly orchestrated is the music of which we live by.
Birthed by emotions of hearts so stirred.
To start off as nothing but a feeling, a thought, a word, it takes on the form of note.
Sustained.
Way Back when
I was never thin
But the desire to be in-
The in crowd Grew out of control
I was never myself
I was never Pres
in the public eye
I was always who they pictured me to be
I may seem quiet, shy and weak. But inside I am more powerful that anyone could ever imagine...I just need be able to step up to the plate.
Expect this, expect that
You think you know her
like the back of your hand
You see her with a smile
Pull back all the curtains,
Open all the doors.
Set loose all the captives,
‘Til darkness is no more.
Cry aloud for freedom,
Spread the truth abroad,
Make liberty your banner,
My ears captured the bells from afar.
Though my eyes rest,I know exactly where we are.
I can feel the throbbing pain,
before I even stand.
Why must I wear these?
Who exactly am I trying to be,
Double zero?
Half of twenty.
Hourglass?
Don't have time.
Smaller waist?
I like bacon.
Perky C's?
Saggy DD's.
Spanx and shape wear,
I can hardly breathe.
I could erase that lonely feeling
Of you leaving me that day
I could take all of the pictures
Of you and me out of my photo album
And throw them all away
But no matter what I do
I am not the house I grew up in.
I am not the family I grew up with.
I am not the words they used to put me down.
And then I cried
Lost in an air of vague and blind
Found at the bottom of a beer can
Only drunken minds seem to make sense
Expressioning emotion oppose to logic
Like the continuously ticking clock, all day and all year
The constant pressure on your chest
You are filled with the paranoia and thought of having no control
It is the feeling of drowning in the open mouth of the river
Faded flowers decorate the yard
Stones stand still
They don't judge
They don't argue
They sit
In silence
Waiting
On You
So You
Talk To Them
Them
Agreeing
Oh no, I have nothing to hide.
Never in my life have I tried.
I have always been happy!
I will never be sappy.
Not that my parents bother me,
Nor is it ever a biggie.
All that matters is your glee;
I'm quiet and soft
small and all smiles
gentle handshakes
and deep blushes
That's me around new people
I speak my mind
loudly to anyone who listens
as many times as it takes
You think you have me all figured out,
Not so. The things that you see is definitely not me,
I’ve grown
The things that made you talk about me
You taught us to be just
But there is no justice.
You taught us to save people
But they are dying in the streets.
You taught us to love
But hatred runs deep in our blood.
You taught us to live
Sometimes I feel like the hands of a clock
Always rushing down, down, down
Falling into that deep, bottomless pit –
Called “Time” –
Something that used to be mine.
Protests chime like discordant bells
I wanted to say, “I’m sorry” for the longest amount of time.
I wanted to talk,
To explain,
To know how this crumbled under a fault of mine.
Somehow I knew –
You didn’t care
You blamed me
What is truth?
Blaine is a pain; that is the truth
Riddles are survival
The world crashes down
Down
Down
And that is the truth.
Worlds in between worlds
You see a teenager. Day to day, smiling awkwardly at those who pass.I see a little girl. Sitting all alone, trying to hide her face from those who look upon her.You see a senior, attending classes, not paying attention.
What heavy burdens a heart must carry
From the times of love to the times of sorrow
But all will be good and new by tomorrow
All we know is that it hurts, it hurts to tell the truth
it hurts to be left alone in the unknown like a broken toy
or as if your date never showed up at your booth.
Baby girl, why did you have to lie
When you told me, that there was no other guy
Now I'm all alone, in my home wanting to cry
But I'm scared that if I cry all my tears out, drain out, I'll die
Life is like a box, when you open it's a surprise
Then you realized, you are often criticized
By the clothes that you wear in your life
If you're formal, it's not cool and if you sag, it's not right
I don’t even know me—too many years in the hiding. I’ve lost my face among the masks; every time I think I find myself, I find I’m trapped. I’m in a world where I’m stuck, because even when I hide my face my masks get struck.
The Wizard of Oz
Hides
Behind the Curtain because he is
Afraid
Of what people will think of his true
Identity.
I Hide
Behind the Curtain because I am
Cautious
You see, weight is too much,
The pounds are too much,
The scale says "enough"
But the numbers don't bluff.
Below layers of fat
(Which really aren't there)
“Still” by, GiGi Spata
Captured, trapped, broken
A mangled mouse in a trap
Like a beautiful bird in a cage
A precious puppy in a pound
Your edges are rough
so is your attitude it seems
Why are you so angry?
Why are you so mean?
Are you loving? Do you care?
You'd never know
The person I share...
Aggressive... and rebellious
"I am judged by my personality,
By the emotions expressed upon my face.
But they don't know me.
I am merely a person who sees herself saved by grace,
Caught inside a web I wove myself,
I'm silent.
A hand masks my pathetic attempts to break free;
That hand is my own.
Pull back the curtain,
Cast upon me the spotlight of shame,
Hidden Secrets
A girl who is full of attitude is what you see
A girl who is haunted by her dreams is what I see
A girl who is full of pride is what you see
A petal is a petal
A road is a road
Then how come I am not you and you are not me
Why do I hide?
why do I fear my moves?
is it cause I fear your thoughts?
I dance to your beats
To be broken inside
is like pieces of broken glass.
Too many pieces to fix,
Impossible to put back together.
Not even the strongest glue can repair.
Brokeness is like water:
She lays down to watch him as he sleeps.
His stomach rises a little as he breathes.
An angel he looks like in his sleep,
Yet he's hers to always keep.
She wonders what he dares to dream,
Masks have always scared me.
I was never a fan of them,
I hated the Halloween aisle at the grocery store,
I didn't want to try them on.
They looked too real,
so I didn't want to touch them.
She enters the classroom, smiling from ear to ear
I enter the classroom filled with fear
She finds an empty chair right next to her friend
I slide into the desk waiting for the day to end
A hushed, resigned, tailor
Observed, a noiseless, patient spider spin,
Past Apollo's race,
With needlework of kin,
Our pace pulls in the dawn.
Lost in misty woods; howling animals yearn
Nothing but eerie noises and colors of charcoal gray
Once I find my way out, I’ll never return
Dead ends and no escape is my concern
This wall is what I call my home.
Without it, I feel lost, foreign, and alone.
It is a guard that protects the innermost part of me.
To fade and to blend my culture into society.
Alive I still am, despite the scars, and countless IV stabs.
Fighting for life has been my strive.
Numerous visits to labs, and hospitals become me.
Crystalize the memory & synchronize your chemical scheme, as the city underground travels through the blood stream
..of the young, the rich the old and poor..and the faces of the familiar across the crooked corridoors.
How do they look? I mean the
Ones in the corner. They're
People so lost in doubts, depression, and anxieties -
Even pigeons don't notice them.
The curtain GIRL: by Sontia Davenport
I wonder why, why I act
Like something I’m not,
is it because of my friends my family
Or is it just me
There once was a rose
Attactive and sweet
She reached to pluck the fragrant bud
Only to be pricked with it's thorns
Talk Talk Talk
That is all I do
I try to be perfect
But me is exactly what they see through
Slam Behind the Curtain
Now you see the truth
I may seem confident
But I am just a sweet tooth
When will we go to clarity and get out out of confusion.
Grasping the preceptions of ourselves based on the media's illusions.
I, do not like me.
I am the opposite of normal, the reason you can't sleep.
I am the tears you hold back when your heart is breaking.
I am the smile in over the years you have perfected in faking.
The riddles that ring,like the telephones from now and the pastThe dialing of the words that spin in a continuous circle, they always lastAnd when you answerYou want to know why they called
Ask me how I hide behind a curtain,
I could tell you about the time I spent in a closet
About how I was so far deep even I didn't know I was there for a while
White people think navajoes are a discrimination to "their" land. "Thier" land where these monsters assume they can control our navajo pride. Our culture is what syntheisize us as navajoes and what makes us who we are.
I choose life over death. I choose living with the rest.
Fighting, fighting through hell. Ringing all these bells for help.
One smile.
Frozen in place.
I didn't know there were others.
Walking along the hallways.
With their cliques.
Talking about everything and nothing.
You were never the one who got tests
hung up on the fridge
and you never handled a ball well enough
to earn a trophy
or attention.
You were never your sister, who had
Stale eyes stare
Jaded and filled with lost hope
Who is left to care
In world filled with detest
Humanity is losing its way
People define others without knowing
There isn't much left to say
Words their beautiful some damaging others uplifting Tu Amor I love you being thrown around like tossed salad where's the dressing the feelings being involved not everybody loves the vegetables dumped into a bowl of
He leads you by the hand, You gaze into his eyes as the moonlight shines and glistens
Wrong move...gather around ladies zip it - listen.
Where is your pride my child, where is your self respect
