I opened my mouth hoping that the words I wanted to say would escape I wanted to say that you hurt meI wanted to say that the gashes on my heart are still there That the still continue to bleed from time to time that the sound of your name still stops me in my tracks like a heart attack I wanted to say that I saw the post you made a couple months agoI saw that she was pregnantAnd you were happy And I wanted so bad to call you upTo let you know that I missed you And that hopefully you'd change your mindAnd I contemplated it for a while  I called, you answered, and you talked about herSo,in my heart I just knew it wouldn't be rightYou invited me to the showerNow here I amA fake smile and a bag full of onesies One says “daddy's little angel”So when you ask my why I write I'll tell you I write because I'm hurt I write because you once looked at me the way you look at herI write because you used to talk about me the way you do herI write because it ended so fastI write because she's 7 months and we've only been apart for 5I write because when I try to express myself aloud the words just don't come out right That's why I write