Your Loss

How could it be that after all this time you leave me?

And out of all the days to do so you choose valetines day

We talked for two years, wouldve been 3 in the month of may

We never met, but we connected on a level that I have never with any other

I sort of fell in love with the idea of you

I fell in love with the person who stayed up with me until 2am talking me out of suicide

I fell in love with the guy who played guitar to me over the phone

I fell in love with the person no one quite understood.

When I talked to you it was like there were no problems

When I talked to you it was like I wasn't depresed, it was like life went away for a moment and it was only you and I.

It wasn't all happy when we talked though

You hurt me countless times, but I always forgave you

You've lied about your age and done things that drive me crazy

But there is this one thing.

This one huge lie you told me that broke me down

You told me you had a girlfriend

I believed that she was only your girlfriend and that you cared about her a lot even though you continued to talk to me

But then comes February 14, 2015 at 6:22 pm

Yes I remember the time

I was standing in a crowded city bus when you called

You said that your "girlfriend" isn't your girlfriend, but she is your wife and mother of your child, or children ( I was too shocked to hear that part)

You kept talking, you told me that you love me, I don't know if I believe that anymore

You told me that you care, but I'm not sure I believe that either

Following you telling me that you love me and care about me you said, "I'm never calling you again" followed by some lady screaming in the background (probably your wife) and then you hung up without saying goodbye.

You never said sorry for anything. Not once

You left me in the cold

You left me alone with all my demons

You lied, You left, You broke my heart

I lost my best friend

I never imagined my life without you

You were such a huge part of me, I'm missing my other half

I am so empty

I relapsed

I'm shutting down

I'm covered in bruises, fresh wounds and scars

I cry at everything, but when I'm around people I have to hide my sadness

The sad part is I don't really care about how I'm reacting to this, really.

I just want to talk to you

I want to make sure you are happy and okay

But maybe it's better to let you go

You let me go

Didn't you?




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