I remember being on a boat on a cold winter's day.

My heart had just been broken so the water was dark and murky,

not showing me the way.

 

I tried to peer beyond

The world my eyes could see,

but my soul could not sing with familiarity.

 

I was an intruder, an outsider,

not a fish swimming under.

 

The waves crashed faster,

faster,

beating in quick succession

as if replacing my heart beats

with the violent crashes of their own.

 

I didn't know where I was, or why I was,

my heart didn't feel my own.

I tried and cried in the still heaving shell,

but each tear, each crash, just water.

 

I waited and waited for the storm to abate,

and slowly, surely, the waves began to lessen.

The waves still beat inside my chest

but I could now dry my eyes and to the shore head.

 

I pedaled and pedaled

so hard it seemed,

but all I could travel was nowhere

knowing not what had came.

 

My emotions felt muted

unsure of who they were.

I tried to peer through the water, but above

I could not.

 

So I dove into the cold water,

holding my breath for air.

I swam like a fish

and saw quite clear.

 

The waves in my chest flowed freely, free

and mingled with the waves so I could see.

 

I watched them and weighed them like fish at a market

till I rose from the water,

wiser by far.

No longer blind to the warmth of my chest.