You were my kryptonite

 

They say when one is searching for a significant other they tend to be attracted to a person with characteristics one of their parent possess because they love their parents or because they admire them.

They say that relationships between a child and their parents is the purest and strongest bond.

They say trust between a child and a parent is like no other.

They say when you become a parent your child becomes your first priority and you become your second.

They say...they say..

 

I used to spend the weekends with you.

One time we went to a party and I had to go to the bathroom and you sent your friend with me because you were “too busy”.

I was 4.

One time I was at your house and there was a lady with her child,

The baby was my little sister and the lady was your new partner.

You had started a new family.

One time I wanted to play so I walked into you room and asked you but you said you were busy and looked over at your new partner and sent me to another room.

She closed the door behind me.

 

I still loved you.

 

You called me and said you would pick me up at 4 and we would go to the park.

I sat outside until 8

I only went inside because mom said you weren’t coming

You didn’t even bother to call.

“It was an accident, life happened and something came up”, I said to myself over and over

I was 8.

 

In 3rd grade you moved in with us

I can’t exactly pinpoint what happened or what shifted my perception but I didn’t love you

I didn’t want you home

I couldn’t explain it

Mom wanted you back but I couldn’t bring myself to want you where I had always thought you should’ve been

But I gave you a chance.

 

You hit me one time because I didn’t go into the room to grab the tv remote for you.

I didn’t love you anymore.

 

You left one day

You left my mom sitting in a parked car, lit up by a streetlight.

You left her with nothing but a broken heart and a nasty voicemail.

She still loved you.

 

“I never want to see you again, don’t call my mom, don’t call me EVER”

You cried and you said I was too young to understand the situation.

I wasn’t.

I knew that if you truly loved someone you wouldn’t hurt them;

People don’t cry in parked cars at night when they’re in love.

 

Months passed and you would call,

I would answer sometimes

You made empty promises

I had false hope

 

I loved you again

 

You called on my mom’s birthday, 5 months ago but you didn't call on mine.

That’s when I was sure you loved her more.

I thought about answering the phone but I let it go to voicemail.

I didn't ignore your call because you had ignored mine hundreds of times before,

I simply didn't pick up the phone because I knew I wasn't the one you were looking for.

 

I’m older now

It’s been 11 months since we last spoke

It’s been around 22 months since we’ve last seen each other.

I’m growing up and learning to love myself more than you ever loved me and more than you seem to love yourself.

I have always wondered though, do you not love me as much as you love my mom because I am half of you?  Is that why the effort you put in is only enough for half of me, the half that resembles my mother?

My mom used to say I was a spitting image of you

Sometimes it would upset me because you had hurt her, broken her, and I didn't want her to think of me the way she thought of you.

But sometimes I liked it;

only because I knew how much she loved you and because we both knew how much you loved her.

 

I hope one day when I find someone I love they don't resemble you.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

Comments

Teionnas14

Powerful Piece ! Enjoyed Every word...

breana1017

Thank you!

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