You Were My Dream

My dearest Zac,

The words spilled out of your mouth 

Apologies fell onto the table 

Excuses splashed into my coffee so that it tasted like lead when I drank it. 

You took the stars I once saw in your eyes 

And they shattered like glass around our feet. 

You asked for space 

And time

And distance 

And a collection of other intangible objects 

As if I kept them in my pocket. 

You gave me every reason to walk away,

But I stayed. 

For all my life I wanted you. 

You were my dream 

My goal

My plan. 

I could not bare to let you take the blame for what you did. 

Because I knew about it all. 

Not who

Not what

But I knew that I did not have all of you. 

That a part of you was always somewhere else. 

So I said yes

And yes

And yes to things that neither of us wanted to do. 

I thought that was the missing piece of you.

And I was right. 

But I was wrong to think it would make you want to stay. 

See, I was selfish

And you were unfaithful. 

But I am sentimental,

And you are convincing. 

And so that is why we sit here 

Our hurt tingling like electricity in the air  

Like flies buzzing in empty heads

Neither of us ready to be the first to walk away. 

But I am young 

And have not learned 

And am still selfish. 

And so I sit here, 

Planted in the past,

Clinging to my childhood dream of us, 

And make you be the one to get up from this table

And walk out the door 

Into the cold and lonely night. 

   Until we meet again, 

        Emma 

This poem is about: 
Me

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