I have

A velvet-red

Gold-lined

Cash ledger from my grandma

It's pages are blank

But on the back inside cover

A woman's cursive quips

The life worth living simply because he is alive

It's not my grandma's

So I sit here and think

I'm holding a piece of someone's vulnerability

Would this stranger be upset

Their pleasure is known

Or does it no longer exist?

The wear and tear and water stains

Admit age despite it's blankness

I leave my own tenderness locked

But my book is open

Alert! Alert!

Has someone broken in?

Come in this locked up place

Stumbled into my hideout

Visited my fortress

Glimpsing at the only thing I own proudly

Looking at places for my eyes alone

Were there aliens to my mind here?

I see foreign footsteps in my paradise

My only home broken into

My perfect illusion shattered by touches of reality

Break my body

Steal my soul

Smash my senses

Exterminate my fragile emotions

Burn my brain

Crush my cravings

But whatever you do, please

Please please

Don't glance at my mind

It's all I got