It’s your fault,

So why am I ashamed in myself?

It’s because I became a person

I never wanted to be:

An avid sports spectator,

A slut,

A boy-crazy bitch who doesn’t know how to shut up.

 

I should’ve known you were trouble

From your bad grammar,

Bad spelling,

Badly groomed beard…

 

You sexually harassed me

And I thought it was cute.

Nobody ever wanted me before.

Nobody ever told me I was pretty,

Made me happy.

 

I wasn’t happy.

I was never happy,

And I should’ve known that.

I loved the attention.

I craved the attention,

But it was an unhealthy obsession.

 

I lost seven pounds because of you.

I didn’t eat.

I needed to be sexy.

You told me I needed to be sexy

For your pleasure.

 

But what about me?

What about my pleasure,

My dignity,

My self respect,

My pride in being innocent,

Pure.

You took that away from me to benefit yourself.

 

You never used my name.

Cutie.

Hottie.

Bebecita.

Freaking fake Spanish.

Using my ethnicity to trick me like that,

Trick me into liking you?

How rude.

 

You know,

I could report you.

Pedophelia is a crime.

Sexual harassment is a crime.

If I did what you wanted me to do,

That’s a federal crime.

 

I feel like I can’t.

I lead you on.

I told you I’d do anything for you.

You never asked my age,

So I didn’t tell.

 

I hate the woman I’ve become

In this past week. I hate

That it may come back

To haunt me.

Haunt my college life

Like a dark cloud hiding my light.

 

If it wasn’t for this misogynistic world

I wouldn’t be in this position.

I’m the victim,

But I feel like you need the saving.

 

You need to learn

That I am not an object.

I am strong,

I am beautiful,

And I will persevere.